The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.

The line graph illustrates the
amount
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number
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of
people
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abroad, who came to the
UK
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to rest, work and visit their
famile
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family
and friends, from 1989 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of visitors to the
UK
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, despite fluctuations, had risen throughout the period. Holiday remained the main reason for
people
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to travel to the
UK
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,
whereas
Linking Words
visiting friends and relatives
stayed
Verb problem
remained
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the lowest. In 1989, just over 6
million
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people
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visited
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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for
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
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. Over the next
decade
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decade,
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this
Linking Words
number increased and hit its highest at more than 9
million
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visitors. Despite the sharp fall to less than 8
million
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by 2004, it
then
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experienced a considerable increase to about 9
million
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people
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by the end of the period.
However
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, the
amount
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number
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of
people
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who came for work decreased from more than 5
to
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million to
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4
million
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in the first 4 years before showing an upward trend with some fluctuations. By the end of the
last
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year, it
rised
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rose
by almost 1
million
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visitors. The least popular reason was visiting.
However
Linking Words
, it showed a significant increase from about 4 to 7
million
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in 15 years
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
still had a drop to 6
million
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in 2009

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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