IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Government should apply tax on unhealthy food to inspire people to eat healthy food which is beneficial for their health. Do you agree or disagree

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Introduction
Government
Use synonyms
 on applying tax on
junk
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food
Use synonyms
 in order promoting healthy eating
food
Use synonyms
 life should be applied. I believe that national instrument holds a big influence in our everyday
lives
Punctuation problem
lives,
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why I agree with the idea.
Body paragraph 1
According to
Linking Words
 the research in China, they believe that the
government
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 can do much more for unhealthy people in their country
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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thats
Use the right word
that's
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 why the
government
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accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodates
 those who
considered
Verb problem
are considered
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 big to join their diet program
,
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
Linking Words
 is one
of
Change preposition
apply
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example where a real
government
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 actually have
influcence
Correct your spelling
influence
 in our everyday lives.
Body paragraph 2
Not only
the
Verb problem
does the
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government
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 put tax on healthy
food
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 I believe that
Correct article usage
the governement
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governement
Correct your spelling
government
 should
also
Linking Words
 present or make rules about the score of the
food
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 and give
sanction
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sanctions
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 for bad
company
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companies
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not put
label
Fix the agreement mistake
labels
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 on their
junk
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food
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. Other than that, the
operational
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operation
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 of the
junk
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food
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 restaurant should be regulated strictly as well, because we all know that many people tend to eat
junk
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food
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during
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at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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night.
Body paragraph 3
Other than those
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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, the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of the tax can
also
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 be useful for those who
actually
Verb problem
are actually
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got
Verb problem
apply
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impacted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the
junkfood
Correct your spelling
food
.
Conclusion
So, I like to agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea to make the
citizen's
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 lives
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
better.

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task
State your view clearly in the first sentence.
task
Give clear reasons and back them with real facts or concrete examples.
coherence
Make each paragraph about one idea and link ideas with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'also'.
language
Check the grammar and spelling, e.g., 'accommodate', 'government', 'unhealthy'.
task response
The writer gives a clear view.
coherence
There is an attempt to use examples from real life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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