IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the advantages and disadvantages that bring to them

In an increasingly globalised world, air travel has become more common,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 is now easier for
people
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 to travel internationally than ever before. Some
people
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 think
tourists
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 from overseas are beneficial for their
country
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while
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, while
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 some disagree.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument. The
tourism
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 industry plays a vital cultural and financial role in many countries.
Firstly
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, it provides a channel for cultural exchanges among
people
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 from different parts of the world. Many governments see
this
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 as a means to promote the culture and the image of the
country
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 on the international stage.
Secondly
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,
tourists
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 from overseas spend money in local
resturants
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restaurants
 and shops,
theie
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their
 spendings play a crucial role in supporting the local economy and creating jobs. They
also
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 represent a source of revenue for the government. International
tourism
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 can bring
substancial
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substantial
 advantages to a
country
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 both culturally and financially.
Nevertheless
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, without any regulations, over-
tourism
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 can cause considerable inconveniences to local communities
which
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, which
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 cannot be ignored. If there are too many
tourists
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 visiting,
this
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 can increase stress on the local infrastructure, which in turn
cause
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causes
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 congestion on roads.
In addition
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, to meet the demand, land and property owners will turn their properties into lucrative hotels and B&Bs
,
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;
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as a consequence
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,
accomodation
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accommodation
 will become more unaffordable for the local
people
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.
Moreover
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, businesses might become more commercialised to cater for the needs of the
tourists
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, and these tourist hotspots could
grdually
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gradually
 lose their original characters. Too many
tourists
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 visiting can negatively affect local communities. International
tourism
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 is essential in promoting the culture of a
country
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 to other
people
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 around the world
,
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;
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 it can
also
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 be an important pillar of the economy
,
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. However
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however
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, if there are too many overseas
tourists
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, it
significantly
Verb problem
can significantly
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 disrupt the lives of the local
people
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. In my opinion, there is no doubt that a certain level of international
tourism
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 is important from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 cultural and financial perspective
,
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;
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however
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, regulations must be put in place to protect communities from the negative effects of over-
tourism
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.

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structure
Start each paragraph with a short line that shows its point.
content
Add 2 or 3 real facts or small examples to back each point, like how tourism helps jobs or raise shop money.
language
Check spell and use small words to avoid hard spell errors (resturants, spendings, accomo dation).
task
Make your view clear at the end; do not only talk about both sides but say what you think and why.
content
You talk about both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, a body, and a short end.
language
You use linking words to show steps.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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