Nowadays sport is becoming a big business with professional players earning high salary and more companies get involved in sports financially. Is this a positive or negative development?

Certain

sports

Use synonyms

have become very popular worldwide. Several

companies

Use synonyms

have seized the opportunity and

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

numerous business ventures into the field, and many

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

celebrities are making salaries that are many times over what ordinary

people

Use synonyms

make. Some

people

Use synonyms

are concerned about

this

Linking Words

development,

while

Linking Words

others do not see

this

Linking Words

as an issue.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views. There are several genuine concerns associated with the commercialisation of

sports

Use synonyms

that

people

Use synonyms

rightly

Verb problem

have rightly

show examples

raised.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

fans become

obscessed

Correct your spelling

obsessed

with the teams and players that they support.

This

Linking Words

can sometimes result in unwise, excessive spending behaviour. It is not uncommon to see

people

Use synonyms

buy a

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

shirt of their favourite player at an inflated price, and add a premium if there is an autograph on the item.

Secondly

Linking Words

, to maintain public

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

and to generate revenue, big

companies

Use synonyms

regularly sponsor big

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

events across the world. With large crowds gathering,

inevitably

Punctuation problem

inevitably,

show examples

there will be anti-social behaviours.

This

Linking Words

diverts valuable police resources from other areas during these events. Commercialisation of

sports

Use synonyms

undoubtedly has its downsides.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, celebrity players and sponsoring

companies

Use synonyms

can bring a lot of advantages. The money invested by big

companies

Use synonyms

can encourage more

people

Use synonyms

to take up

sports

Use synonyms

and adopt a more active lifestyle.

In addition

Linking Words

, celebrity players are often very mindful of the public image they present. They can serve as role models for young teenagers.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many popular

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

stars use their fame to raise awareness about important topics

such

Linking Words

as climate change and inequality.

Finally

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

often rally behind their own country to support their national team during big international tournaments,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

in turn promotes patriotism and social cohesion among the

people

Use synonyms

. In many ways,

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

stars and

companies

Use synonyms

contribute positively to society. In summary,

while

Linking Words

the commercialisation of

sports

Use synonyms

does have its downsides, without the celebrities and the investment provided by big

companies

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

would not have the same reach as it currently does.

Overall

Linking Words

, the value they provide to society

outweigh

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweighs

show examples

the disadvantages.

ngkachun_angus

Jan 27, 2026

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structure

Use short, clear sentences. In each paragraph, state one main idea. Use linking words to show how ideas are connected.

grammar

Fix small errors in spelling and grammar, like 'obscessed'. Take a moment to rewrite tricky sentences.

content

Add more clear facts or exact examples to back up each point. This can make your view stronger.

conclusion

Keep a steady view at the end. Say clearly what you think and why.

structure

The essay shows both sides and ends with a clear view.

coherence

There are good link words and a steady flow.

content

The idea that sport can push people to be active is nice to see.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious problems, as wall as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?