IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The given line chart represents information on
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 monthly floating cost of
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
expense
Check wording
price
show examples
 of
zinc
Use synonyms
 rose steadily during the year,
while
Linking Words
nickel
Use synonyms
 had a downward trend in 12 months. The fee change of
zinc
Use synonyms
 went up rapidly, approximately 1% in January to 3% in February, which was 2
times
Use synonyms
 more than that of
copper
Use synonyms
 and just less
3
Change preposition
than 3
show examples
% than
nickel
Use synonyms
. Following that, the figure of
zinc
Use synonyms
 cut down steadily from March to May
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 2% to 1%, which was just more
0.5
Change preposition
than 0.5
show examples
% than
copper
Use synonyms
. From May to June
Use synonyms
copper
Punctuation problem
, copper
show examples
 prices reached the same level of -0.5% and
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 just over 0.5% than
zinc
Use synonyms
, which was 6
times
Use synonyms
 more than
nickel
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the charge of
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 consisted of 1%, -1% and 0.5% during the period from July to September, respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the percentage change of
zinc
Use synonyms
 climbed rapidly by roughly 0.5% to 1% in October to November, which was 1
times
Use synonyms
 more than
nickel
Use synonyms
. Notably,
nickel
Use synonyms
 had fallen by 5% to 1% in 2014, which was nearly 2
times
Use synonyms
 more compared to other metals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, nickel, zinc, times with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: