IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The aging population is good for business, the economy, and society. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, fast
food
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 a habit, more than just a thing to gain time with
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will compare
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the positive and the negative points. One major advantage of
this
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 is that it helps save a lot of time, especially for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employees with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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busy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 don't have time for cooking their meals.Plus, fast
food
Use synonyms
 it's tasty, and
this
Linking Words
 is why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
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 it and
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 addicted to it.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 all
theses
Use the right word
these
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 advantages, the disadvantages have had more impact.
Firstly
Linking Words
, these quick meals
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 amount of fat and sugar, which increases the possibility of getting a heart attack and diseases, plus many other health issues.
Secondly
Linking Words
,it's more expensive than home cooking. Especially for those who used to go to fancy restaurants. In conclusion, even if you can balance between home
food
Use synonyms
 and fast
food
Use synonyms
, you still won't get a perfect result. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that people need to eat outside only two times in week , maximum , as a change, but never drop cooking or eating
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 meal. Cooking your
food
Use synonyms
 can help you
in counting
Wrong verb form
count
show examples
 your macros and calories for your body shape goals.

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tip
State your view clearly in the intro and end with your own view. Give a fair look at both sides.
tip
Use plan words to connect ideas. Start each paragraph with a main idea and link sentences to the next idea.
tip
Check grammar and form. Use correct spaces, punctuation, and simple, clean sentences.
tip
Choose simple, precise words. Avoid long phrases. Use key words like fast food, time saving, health risk, cost.
strength
Good attempt to show both sides and to give your own view.
strength
You use some clear examples (time saving, health risk, cost).
strength
The ending gives your own view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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