IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People think that some countries can be both economically successful and clean their environment, Whereas some of them disagree. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is an ongoing debate as to
relationship
Correct article usage
the relationship
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 between economic success and environmental preservation.Some people tend to believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments
Use synonyms
 are able to invest in industrial revenue growth and reduce environmental damage at the same time,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it is impossible. I totally agree with the former opinion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I will elaborate on my reasons for thinking so in the following essay. On the one hand, people who consider that the government officials cannot
both
Verb problem
be both
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 environmentally friendly and have a
strong
Correct word choice
high
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 public
income
Use synonyms
 argue that
industralisation
Correct your spelling
industrialisation
 plays a central role in contributing to pollution.
This
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 is
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 the
governments
Use synonyms
 are willing to have a high public
income
Use synonyms
, they should invest more in
industiries
Correct your spelling
industries
 and
factories
Use synonyms
, which give rise to air and water
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
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 to mention
but
Correct word choice
apply
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a few.
As a result
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, increasing pollution and damaging
biodiverstiy
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
 are stemming from
Correct article usage
the manufacuring
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manufacuring
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 process
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
result
Correct article usage
the result
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in
Change preposition
of
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this
Linking Words
 idea.
On the other hand
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, those who opine that the government can have an opportunity to increase public
income
Use synonyms
 and protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 at the same time argue that if the
governments
Use synonyms
 take responsibility and impose strict rules about
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
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 of the
environment
Use synonyms
, it can be
handeled
Correct your spelling
handled
. The reason for
this
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 is
Correct word choice
that facroties
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facroties
Correct your spelling
factories
 can be dependent on planet-friendly customs,
namely
Punctuation problem
namely,
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 their products might be reusable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
can
Verb problem
may
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 have to pay taxes for preserving
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
factories
Use synonyms
 and industries did not work, it would lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chaos in countries
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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modern life
is
Verb problem
apply
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heavily
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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 on
factories
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 and individuals require
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 upsides for having a high standard of living.  In conclusion,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
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 there are some
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 of increasing public
income
Use synonyms
 and maintaining environmental protection at the same time
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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such
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, I would argue that
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 the
governments
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 have good
politics
Use the right word
policies
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 to inspect
factories
Use synonyms
 and environmental
conversation
Use the right word
conservation
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,
factories
Use synonyms
 can become
Correct article usage
a
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beneficial tool for
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
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 of the
environment
Use synonyms
.

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clarity
Be sure to state your view clearly at the start and keep the same view throughout the essay.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a simple example to show it.
cohesion
Try to use clearer link words to join ideas and make the flow easy to read.
content
Add more real life or small facts to back up your point, even in simple form.
stance
The writer shows a clear view and keeps it in the essay.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist and you mark your position early.
organization
There is a basic plan with two body parts that discuss different ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • pollution
  • clean environment
  • green energy
  • renewable energy
  • technology
  • rules
  • laws
  • policy
  • tax
  • subsidy
  • invest
  • infrastructure
  • public transport
  • costs and benefits
  • trade-off
  • long term
  • short term
  • policies
  • emissions
  • climate change
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • jobs
  • industry
  • government
  • leadership
  • planning
  • cooperation
  • balance
  • green jobs
  • water and air
  • recycle
  • waste management
  • education
  • awareness
  • economic structure
  • growth and care for nature
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