IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that because the Internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, the Internet has become a major source of
information
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 and knowledge. Some people argue that
schools
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 should focus on teaching factual knowledge.
However
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, I strongly disagree and believe that
schools
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 should place greater emphasis on developing
skills
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 rather than
memorizing
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memorising
show examples
 facts. One important reason is the rapid advancement of artificial intelligence and online technology. Today,
students
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 can easily search for
information
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 using AI tools, search engines, and educational platforms. Thousands of instructional videos on websites
such
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 as YouTube provide access to a wide range of subjects. Since factual
information
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 is widely available online,
schools
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 should focus on helping
students
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 develop critical thinking, creativity, and the ability to evaluate
information
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 rather than simply
memorizing
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memorising
show examples
 facts. Another key reason is that practical and transferable
skills
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 are more valuable in modern society.
Skills
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such
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 as project planning, research, presentation, design, and teamwork are essential in the workplace. Employers often
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 candidates who demonstrate problem-solving abilities, communication
skills
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, and collaboration experience. Group projects and real-world tasks can help
students
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 build responsibility and adaptability, allowing learners of different academic levels to reach their full potential. In conclusion,
although
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 factual knowledge remains useful, it does not need to be the primary focus of school education. Since facts can easily be learned online,
schools
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 should
instead
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prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 teaching practical
skills
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 and critical thinking to better prepare
students
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 for the future.

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content
Add a short look at the other view and then show why your view is still the best.
content
Give more real facts or cases to show how skills help in work and life.
structure
Use linking words to show how points connect to your main idea.
language
Check small words and spelling so the text is easy to read.
strength
Clear view is shown from the start and kept through the essay.
structure
Ideas are easy to follow and link well from one to the next.
content
Examples help explain the points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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