IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

In
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 era that all
people
Use synonyms
 have paid more attention to the deeper,wider aspects of our lives,we found that many
people
Use synonyms
’s works are not the ones they’d like to do or have some
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
.For my opinions
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 why it
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 the consequences of
this
Linking Words
 situation,I have thought of some ideas for social and subjective factors which make it happen and the consequences influencing both one person and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society. Talking about the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation,there are social and subjective factors.For its social factors,what we must remember at forward is the fact that what decides the job we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 do is not our imagination but the actual
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 society.The
need-hole
Use the right word
need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
high-level-engineers
Use the right word
engineers
show examples
 is quite huge in China,which is expanding at a high speed about 100,000
people
Use synonyms
 per year.
However
Linking Words
,through the investigation of hope for
work
Use synonyms
,there are just about 50,000 young
people
Use synonyms
would
Correct pronoun usage
who would
show examples
 like to do
this
Linking Words
hard-doing
Use the right word
hard-working
show examples
 job,but they have to--
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the solid need for
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 the social factor,our subjective
factior
Correct your spelling
factor
also
Linking Words
 plays an important role
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the emotion of regret
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
work
Use synonyms
.The jobs we dream
to do
Change preposition
of doing
show examples
 are mostly
compeletely
Correct your spelling
completely
 different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 what they actually are.Just like the action actors,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 handsome acts and good salaries,
attrats
Correct your spelling
attract
big
numbes
Correct your spelling
numbers
 of young men to do
this
Linking Words
 job,
needs
Correct pronoun usage
it needs
show examples
 quite a lot
hard
Change preposition
of hard
show examples
 practices and
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level of talents to perform the best or even need some of them to jump at 10
-
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
meter-high
Correct your spelling
10-meter-high
 boxes ,
making
Verb problem
possibly causing
show examples
 them
get
Verb problem
to get
show examples
 hurt
possibilly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.The gap between the realities and imaginations just
break
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
show examples
ones’
Check wording
one’s
show examples
 love for their jobs. What
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 sad
situaions
Correct your spelling
situations
 would lead to
are
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 clear for both
personality
Correct article usage
the personality
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 and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society.As one person who
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 doing
work
Use synonyms
 that he hates or has no
any talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
 for would make him at a low level of happiness without any doubt,which may lead to heart
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.Checking it with social view,bad
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 from many
people
Use synonyms
 would destroy
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 social atmosphere ,making the efficiency,comfortable feelings all reduce. All in all,
this
Linking Words
 situation would appear through the objective social needs
as well as
Linking Words
 the gap between subjective imagination and realities,leading to some heart problems for
personalites
Correct your spelling
personalities
 and
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 reduction of social efficiency
as well as
Linking Words
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
 feeling for
people
Use synonyms
.What we should do is
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 about the objective views of the relationship
along
Change preposition
between
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality,imagination,life and future,letting them know clearly what they have to pay for
lives
Correct pronoun usage
their lives
show examples
 and what they actually want.

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planning
Plan your writing first. Make a short plan of 3 reasons and 3 effects. Then write.
organization
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph and keep one idea per paragraph.
grammar
Use simple rules of grammar. Check spellings and use short sentences.
content
Give clear examples or details to support each point.
cohesion
Use linking words to show order and cause. Words like first, next, but, as a result.
content
You try to answer both parts of the task (why and effects).
cohesion
You use some linking words to connect ideas.
content
You mention a real example (engineers in China) to back a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: