IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries nowadays, consumer can get to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, society can get access to many things from all
round
Use the right word
around
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world, even
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
Todays
Fix the agreement mistake
Today
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 can try traditional
dishes
Use synonyms
 from different countries without going to that
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if they want to try Japanese food
Punctuation problem
, than
show examples
than
Use the right word
then
show examples
 they just need to go to
supermarket
Correct article usage
the supermarket
show examples
 and make an appointment
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
Japanese
Correct article usage
a Japanese
show examples
 restaurant. It’s different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 19 centuries
when
Rephrase
ago when
show examples
people
Use synonyms
should
Verb problem
had to
show examples
 go to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 to taste some local meals. And because of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 it makes a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
Correct word choice
whether is
show examples
is it
Correct word order
it is
show examples
 good or not. Personally, I think it is a positive development
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it’s good because a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 will have
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
type
Check wording
apply
show examples
of meals and
also
Linking Words
 it can help
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 to taste food from their home
country
Use synonyms
. So, it can reduce their
homesick feeling
Replace the word
homesickness
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if an Indonesian student
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
 in Japan feels
homesick
Punctuation problem
homesick,
show examples
 they can just try to make Indonesian
dishes
Use synonyms
 to reduce it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it becomes
beneficial
Correct article usage
a beneficial
show examples
features
Fix the agreement mistake
feature
show examples
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 culinary industries can
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 more, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of chefs will try to develop some new
dishes
Use synonyms
 that
inspired
Verb problem
are inspired
show examples
 by local foods, and
also
Linking Words
 it can be a way to introduce local
dishes
Use synonyms
 to
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 world
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it will not
extinct
Verb problem
become extinct
show examples
. And if the local food
successfully
Verb problem
is successfully
show examples
introduces
Wrong verb form
introduced
show examples
 to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, it will create
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 new job field.
For example
Linking Words
, if some traditional meals become popular in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
lot
Use synonyms
 of local chefs can get a job in that
country
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 situation is a positive impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 world development because it can make
people
Use synonyms
has more
Wrong verb form
have a greater
show examples
 variety of
dishes
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 it can become a way to preserve some traditional
dishes
Use synonyms
 from extinction.

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coherence
Link ideas well. Use simple joining words. Make the flow from one idea to the next clear.
task
State your view clearly in the first sentence and restate it in the last. Add main points with equal detail.
response
The essay takes a clear view that the change is positive.
examples
Examples from real life show how food from other places can help people.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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