IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It’s been seen that reading for pleasure develops imaginations and better language skills than to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rarely has there been a more contentious debate in modern society than the question of whether reading or watching TV is inherently beneficial.
While
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 both perspectives offer valid arguments, I am of the firm conviction that a harmonious balance between reading and watching TV is a more justifiable approach.
This
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 essay will elucidate the merits of both views before explaining why a middle ground is essential. The rationale for prioritising reading is primarily based on its ability to stimulate active imagination.
This
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 stems from the fact that a reader must mentally construct images and settings from text, which facilitates deeper cognitive engagement than a pre-made visual. Closely linked to
this
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 are the cultural values that reading a physical piece of information
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 an individual. The existence of books has stood the test of time, and it's merits are validated by our ancestors
,
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;
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therefore
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reading
Punctuation problem
, reading
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 a book will have a nostalgic
affect
Use the right word
effect
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 on a person.
For example
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, studies often show that children who read regularly perform significantly better in literacy exams than those who do not. Equally compelling,
however
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, is the case for high-quality television, as what
this
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 framework provides is a multi-sensory learning experience. The utilisation of visual and auditory storytelling ensures a level of comprehension
that is
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 essential for understanding complex emotions and social cues.
Furthermore
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, the educational dimension of modern documentaries and subtitled content highlights the long-term value of screen media. Indeed, the more diverse the media is
prioritized
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apply
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, the more likely a learner's cultural awareness is to flourish. A clear illustration of
this
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 is the use of foreign-language films to help students acquire natural accents that books cannot provide. To
encapsulate
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recap
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,
while
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 reading provides undeniable language skills, the benefits of watching TV for educational purposes must not be overlooked. In my view, it is paramount that educators encourage a strategy that integrates both.

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task handling
State clearly how much you agree in the first or second sentence. A partial or full stance makes your task clear.
structure
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Tie every point to the big claim about balance.
coherence
Use simple link words to show flow, like first, next, also, but, therefore.
grammar style
Break long sentences into shorter ones to aid quick reading.
vocabulary grammar
Fix small errors such as 'nostalgic affect' which should be 'nostalgic effect' and 'the utilisation' could be 'the use'.
examples
Give a clear example for each key point to make ideas more real.
content
Clear stance on using both reading and viewing
structure
Good structure with an intro, body parts, and a conclusion
coherence
Use of linking words helps flow
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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