IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most people think that online learning can be as efficient as traditional classroom education, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 are increasingly debating over whether distance learning can efficiently replace face-to-face classroom education,
whereas
Linking Words
 others do not support
this
Linking Words
 view.
While
Linking Words
 most individuals think that online classes can be
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
 anywhere and provide
atmosphere
Correct article usage
an atmosphere
show examples
 without great pressure, I strongly believe that social interaction plays a crucial role in obtaining
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information, making
people
Use synonyms
 more responsible. On the one hand, online platforms have significantly soothed the daily lives of modern society. The only requirement to participate in
such
Linking Words
 lessons is to have any kind of gadget, like
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
show examples
 or
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
show examples
, that has already become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commonplace for
people
Use synonyms
 to carry.
In addition
Linking Words
, it has no limitations
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of pupils and provides responsibility not to show their faces, allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to feel relieved and be more efficient.
For instance
Linking Words
, owners of telegram groups often
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 online chats with thousands of listeners, who can participate merely
laying
Use the right word
lying
show examples
 on their beds.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, traditional classroom learning makes
people
Use synonyms
 far more responsible towards lessons, which is not the case for distance learning. The feeling of being directly guided by someone automatically prompts
people
Use synonyms
 to be well-dressed and engage in
hand-on
Use the right word
hands-on
show examples
 activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it affects on
rareness
Replace the word
rarity
show examples
 of cheating occasions in exams, which
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 definite feature of online pupils – finding needed information beyond the screen. Universities and schools are the clearest and widely
recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
show examples
 examples. Concrete
dress-code
Use the right word
dress code
show examples
, strict
enforcements
Fix the agreement mistake
enforcement
show examples
, and the place itself create the atmosphere of education which urges
people
Use synonyms
 to perform well. In conclusion, even though online learning can be efficient for
busy-scheduled
Correct word choice
busy individuals
show examples
 or sheepy individuals, in my perspective, it simultaneously allows pupils to cheat and be indifferent towards the lessons, which are prevented in classroom education.

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task response
The essay shows both sides, but the main view is not clear at the start. Add a clear sentence in the intro that states your view, and restate it in the end.
coherence
Arrange the idea in a simple order: first the online way, then the class way, then your view. Use simple link words like first, next, but, so.
support
Give one strong example for each point. Explain how it helps or hurts. Avoid long, hard frames.
grammar
Check grammar and short word use. Fix mistakes in tense and form. Use short, clear lines.
vocabulary
Use only common words. Do not use long or hard word; stay with top 100 words when you can.
structure
End with a clear final line that rest a clear view.
strength
The writer tries to speak on both sides and has a stand that social life is key.
strength
There is a good idea on how online work can be easy to reach and the issue of cheating is seen.
strength
Some good examples are used, such as groups on chat and the idea of dress code in class.
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