Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There is an ongoing debate about whether youngsters should
work
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for the
community
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without getting paid during their free
time
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or not. Some say
this
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could be a benefit for the
community
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and
teenagers
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teenagers,
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whether
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while
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some say young people should enjoy their
life
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as a kid as much as possible.
This
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essay takes a look
on
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at
show examples
both sides and
show
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shows
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relevant
arguements
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arguments
for both parties. Some people think that teenagers should do small jobs in their free
time
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without any financial
refund
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reward
show examples
. It might help them to prepare to become adult and learn how to take responsibilities and manage their
time
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better.
For
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example
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example,
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a
15 year old
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15-year-old
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boy should do some
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community based
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community-based
show examples
work
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after school
like
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, like
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volunteering at the fire station or
assists
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assisting
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residents in their daily
life
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. These job
oportunities
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opportunities
should just take a few hours and benefit the
communtiy
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community
as well as
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envolving
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involving
to
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apply
show examples
a young
adullt
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adult
.
However
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, some people argue that teenagers shouldn´t
spent
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spend
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their young ages
by
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apply
show examples
doing jobs after school,
neither
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whether
show examples
paid or unpaid. Working after school might
also
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influence
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a schools
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schools
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school's
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performance,
for example
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, if they
cant
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can't
share enough
time
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for homework or studying because they have to do
community
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work
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. It´s
also
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controverse
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controversial
how much it benefits the
community
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.
To conclude
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,unpaid
community
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work
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is an important
pile
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part
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of social
life
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it may assist in
archiving
Verb problem
acquiring
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certain
skillls
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skills
and taking
responsibilites
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responsibilities
. But it should be done by volunteers who actively decide to do it and shouldn´t come at the cost of
youngsters
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youngsters'
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time
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. In my opinion, young individuals will
spent
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spend
show examples
enough
time
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in
thier
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their
life
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span at
work
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. They should enjoy
thier
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their
youth as much as they can.

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task response
The essay shows both sides but the main view is not clear in the opening. State your strong position in the introduction and stick to it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve flow with clear topic sentences and use more linking words. Each paragraph should have one clear idea that connects to the main claim.
task response
Two sides are shown and a final view is given.
coherence cohesion
Some good example ideas, like after-school volunteering, are used.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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