IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Children
Use synonyms
 are the backbone of every country.So, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who tend to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in
flourished
Correct article usage
a flourished
show examples
 society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves. I, too
believe
Punctuation problem
, believe
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 motivation has more benefits than its drawbacks.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, social work by
children
Use synonyms
 can be easily associated with personality development because during
this
Linking Words
 drive, they tend to communicate with
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
,
leads
Correct pronoun usage
which leads
show examples
 to polished verbal skills.
For example
Linking Words
, if they start convincing rural
people
Use synonyms
 to send their
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Punctuation problem
school,
show examples
 they have to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a convincing attitude
along with
Linking Words
 developed verbal skills to deal with diverse
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 there.
This
Linking Words
 improved skill will help them lifelong in every arena.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the true values of life
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 tolerance,patience,team spirit,
Correct word choice
and cooperation
show examples
cooperation
Punctuation problem
cooperation,
show examples
 can be learnt.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, young
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 serve the country with full
enthusiasm
Punctuation problem
enthusiasm,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 gives them
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
 of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and
self satisfaction
Use the right word
self-satisfaction
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 worthiness for themselves
brim
Verb problem
imbues
show examples
 them with
self confidence
Use the right word
self-confidence
show examples
 and
patriotic
Correct article usage
a patriotic
show examples
 feeling.
Moreover
Linking Words
,going and experiencing multiple
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 their horizon so broad that
Correct pronoun usage
it add
show examples
add
Correct subject-verb agreement
adds
show examples
 one more feather in their cap.
However
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is truly said, no rose without
thrones
Use the right word
thorns
show examples
. Can the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 initiation be ignored?
Children
Use synonyms
 go to school, participate
indifferent
Use the right word
in different
show examples
 curriculum activities, endure the pressure of peers, parents, and teachers and in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
world
Punctuation problem
world,
show examples
 they should not be expected to serve society without their self
benefits
Use the right word
self-interests
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of pressure might bring resentment
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their mind. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I believe,
notion
Correct article usage
the notion
show examples
 of
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 doing unpaid work is indeed good
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 proper monitoring and care should be given to avoid untoward consequences.

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task
State your view clearly in the first sentence and keep your position consistent throughout the essay.
content
Organize one idea per paragraph and use a simple example to support it.
coherence
Use basic linking tools (and, but, also, firstly, finally) to connect ideas smoothly.
grammar
Fix long sentences. Use shorter, clearer sentences to prevent grammar mistakes.
grammar
Watch spellings and punctuation; put a comma after introductory words and correct common mistakes.
lexical
Keep vocabulary within simple words and repeat key terms to stay clear.
content
The author shows a clear position on the issue.
structure
There is proper paragraphing: introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Linking words are used to connect ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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