IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that government should not allow salaries above certain level. Discuss the view and give your opinion.

In recent years, many people believe that some residents can earn high
salaries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, individuals believe that governments should control
salaries
Use synonyms
 at certain levels. I would like to shed light on these situations. On the one hand, it is essential to recognise that high wages can serve as a means of improving the quality of
life
Use synonyms
. A critical aspect to consider is that it helps individuals enhance their standard of living, which highlights that they can have a better
life
Use synonyms
 . What is more, another important point to emphasise is that money can serve as an efficient way to provide necessary facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as medical insurance, education and entertainment.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it can facilitate human
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is necessary to examine the opposing view that authorities should manage the average
of
Fix the agreement mistake
salary
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
. A noteworthy factor to explore is that it can create a balanced lifestyle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is vital to clarify that it is a powerful tool for controlling the gaps between the rich and the poor.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is a great way to promote economic equality. In conclusion, high
salaries
Use synonyms
 play a significant role in improving the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 and developing the economy.
However
Linking Words
, governments should apply some efficient ways to balance and control the amount of
salaries
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Make your view clear in the intro. Say your own opinion on what should be done.
coherence
Link your ideas with better join words. Use 'but', 'however', 'also', 'in addition' to move from one idea to the next.
content
Give one or two clear examples to back a point. This can be real life facts or simple ideas.
grammar
Check the grammar. Fix small errors and avoid repeats.
task
Two sides are shown, which is good for a discuss-essay.
coherence
There is a short conclusion that ends the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income disparity
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • high earners
  • tax contributions
  • social tensions
  • income cap
  • brain drain
  • competitiveness
  • talent attraction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: