IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job Write a letter to shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter: &Describe the problem with the equipment. &Explain how this problem is affecting your work. &Say what you want the shop or company to do.

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #&describe #&explain #&say
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Kurbonov Arthur, a loyal patron of your electronics store situated at Stanford Square. I am writing to address an issue concerning
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 recent acquisition of a docking station.
Initially
, the product functioned flawlessly for the first week;
however
, I am now experiencing a malfunction with the USB ports, which fail to recognize any newly connected devices.
This
 situation poses a significant impediment to my productivity
while
 working from home, as it is essential to connect multiple display screens, including monitors and laptops.
Moreover
, the accompanying connecting cables provided are inadequate, as they do not align with the inconsistent port designs and lengths.
Additionally
, the prolonged use of connected devices has resulted in overheating issues. In light of these concerns, I kindly request a replacement of the docking station, as it remains within the warranty period. Should you require any additional information,
such
 as the receipt or model details, please do not hesitate to inform me. I anticipate your prompt attention to
this
 matter. Yours faithfully, Kurbonov Arthur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured and logically organized. However, consider using more paragraphs to clearly separate each idea for even better clarity.
task achievement
Your letter covers the required content points comprehensively. Make sure every paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance the overall perception.
suitable writing tone
You used a polite and formal tone, which is apt for a business letter.
complete response
Your letter provides a complete response to the task, addressing all the required content points with sufficient detail.
logical structure
The letter maintains logical structure and includes appropriate greetings and closings, making it easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: