IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think that advantages of economic development outweight the disadvantages ?

Generally, people believe
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
 nations focus on economic growth primarily, a few social values get lost in the process. In my opinion, the merits of economic development certainly
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the demerits. When a country focuses on its economic development, it can create more employment opportunities, resulting in a satisfied society. To contribute to
this
Linking Words
 argument, if we look at developing nations like India
-
Punctuation problem
,
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due to
Linking Words
 scarcity of employment opportunities, citizens are forced to
involve
Verb problem
engage
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 in activities like robbery and theft.
Additionally
Linking Words
, money generated from
this
Linking Words
 growth can help
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to serve the people with opportunities like reduced
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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, free education, and developed infrastructure.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we look at developed nations like Canada, the citizens have access to free education, good public transportation, and
well built
Use the right word
well-built
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 roads. These factors
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
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 the happiness index and can
also
Linking Words
 help inculcate social values in people of the nation.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe, the process from a developed to
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
show examples
 nation might cost the society, but if we look at the bigger picture, the advantages of economic growth would be much more.

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task response
The view is clear, but ideas are not well done. Add more detail and explain how growth helps people, not just that it does.
task response
Include a counter view. Say one bad part of growth, then say why it may still win.
coherence
Make one idea in each paragraph. End with a line that links to the next idea.
coherence
Use more linking words to show flow from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix small mistakes in grammar. outweight should be outweighed; enhance should be enhance; the government needs ‘the’.
lexical
Use simple and common words. Avoid rare words like ‘inculcate’ unless you are sure.
task response
The position is clear from the start.
coherence
Examples connect growth to life quality.
coherence
Some good linking words are used (Additionally, For instance, Thus).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic development
  • living standard
  • employment opportunities
  • increased income
  • improved infrastructure
  • healthcare systems
  • education systems
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • environmental degradation
  • increased pollution
  • social inequalities
  • wealth distribution
  • cultural values
  • family bonding
  • community cohesion
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