IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the
preventive
Replace the word
prevention
show examples
 of a crime
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
multiable
Correct your spelling
multiple
 ways , and one of
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 is the education of
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socaity
Correct your spelling
society
,and how
will it
Correct word order
it will
show examples
decreases
Correct subject-verb agreement
decrease
show examples
 the numbers. and my personal
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 about
this
Linking Words
 method. In the beginning, years
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 were not educated
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 dont know what the
concequince
Correct your spelling
consequence
 of doing a bad thing
.
Verb problem
was.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,
kiling eachother
Correct your spelling
killing each other
, or stealing a car ,a shop , or anything,
also
Linking Words
 beating,
abuse
Correct word choice
and abuse
show examples
 . All of these
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 punished
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one way .By putting them inside the prison for a
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
 of time without
educated
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 them on what they did
an dhow
Use the right word
and how
show examples
 to prevent it .
However
Linking Words
, in the
present
Punctuation problem
present,
show examples
 the government
start
Wrong verb form
has started
show examples
 to look at it in a deeper way , and how to prevent it . So, they start a huge program in schools and colleges that educate and give information on how to deal with an issue without being
aggrissive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
, and do harm
things
Check wording
apply
show examples
to the community .And that program showed a decreased level of crimes by 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 every year , and with
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the quality of life increased . In my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, and based
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 study ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 do agree with
this
Linking Words
 method
, once
Punctuation problem
. Once
show examples
 you start to use the education and its facilities , you implement the idea of being aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 and how to deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and
handel
Correct your spelling
handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with no risk to the people around you. In the end,
still there are
Correct word order
there are still
show examples
 lots of
chalanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 to prevent bad people from doing ham things to others , and education is an
effiniet
Correct your spelling
effective
 way for it .
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,
show examples
 if the criminals are doing
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
 things to the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
,
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
presone
Correct your spelling
prison
 is another method.
However
Linking Words
 , they need to be educated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison si once they are out
Punctuation problem
, thet
show examples
thet dont
Correct your spelling
they don't
 repeat it .

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, body, and end.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next.
development
Give one main idea per paragraph and add a small, clear example.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use short, clear sentences.
task focus
You show a clear view that education can help.
evidence
You give a real idea about a school program as proof.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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