IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think iy is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The
emerging
Replace the word
emergence
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 has already affected the population through how they
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
show examples
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other. Some people tend to be more connected with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the rest of them think to
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 less sociable. I partially agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
technology
Use synonyms
 could be more effective
to connect
Change preposition
in connecting
show examples
 people than without a modern
technology
Use synonyms
.
Through
Change preposition
Throughout
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 the modern world, without hesitation, modern
technology
Use synonyms
 has already accompanied us in helping our activities, particularly in communication.
This
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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, obviously helps us to get the latest information from our
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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, family
Punctuation problem
, of
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of
Use the right word
or
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 even
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
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 from a far distance in different countries.
This
Linking Words
 could be one of the advantages that has appeared, which supports us
to get
Change preposition
in getting
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 the news rapidly without waiting for too long.
This
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 related
with
Change preposition
to
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 the
country
Check wording
country's
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 development,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 education systems.
Though
Use the right word
Through
show examples
 the communication in modern
technology
Use synonyms
, sharing
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 between companies or universities will be a benefit for the developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries
through
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
Use synonyms
could
Verb problem
is
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 not
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 properly, it will be nothing without any benefits. As current advancement
technology
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people tend to use it as the only
short
Correct word choice
short-term
show examples
 entertainment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may lead to
brainrot
Correct your spelling
brain rot
, in terms of the shrinking of
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
. One of the
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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 has already existed in our new
generation
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 are overstimulated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, our new
generation
Use synonyms
 will not get the engagement of modern
technology
Use synonyms
 effectively. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 modern
technology
Use synonyms
 has several benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our
generation
Use synonyms
, it cannot fully replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
face-to-face conversation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, implementing the
technology
Use synonyms
 can be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 breakthrough
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our development
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in education and
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
, if we can manage the modern
technology
Use synonyms
 in the new
generation
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Make your view clear from the start and keep a steady line through the essay.
coherence
Put a new idea in a new paragraph and use linking words to show how ideas connect.
grammar
Watch grammar and use simple sentence forms correctly; fix plural, verb and article errors.
lexical
Use clear, simple words and avoid long, hard phrases.
content
Add real examples or data to back up your claim about tech and people.
task response
You try to show both sides of the issue.
coherence
There is a simple structure and a final view.
content
You give examples of devices and the field of education.
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