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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006

The provided graph illustrates the indications of temporary migrant employees in four
states
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Australia, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 United Kingdom and
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 United
States
Use synonyms
 of America
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 2003 and 2006 and the rates of these workers per 1000 individuals in these unions in 2006. It is crystal clear that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the proportion of the United
States
Use synonyms
 was the most common throughout the period
,
Punctuation problem
;
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opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 was true for New
Zealand
Use synonyms
. The percentage of employment among 1000 persons in the United
States
Use synonyms
 was the least preferred in 2006
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, the
indication
Check wording
percentage
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 New
Zealand
Use synonyms
maintained
Verb problem
remained
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 the highest
percentage
Check wording
apply
show examples
. In 2003, the number of human
labours
Use the right word
labourers
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 in the United
Use synonyms
states
Fix capitalization
States
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 was 577.000
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it
was
Verb problem
apply
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accounted for 152.000 in Australia.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the indications were equal to 137000 in the United Kingdom and 65.000 in New
Zealand
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 in the same year. In 2006, the rates of the United
States
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 678000 and in Australia, it was amounted to 219000. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 the proportion of the United Kingdom was 266000
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 meanwhile, it was 87000 in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words states, zealand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Temporary migrant workers
  • Labor mobility
  • Statistical data
  • Insights
  • Trends
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Economic growth
  • Demand for labor
  • Immigration policies
  • Disparities
  • Concentration
  • Comparative analysis
  • Consequences
  • Economic impact
  • Cultural integration
  • Social services
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