IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, a majority of animals are kept in zoos in order to save them from becoming extinct. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Today
many
Punctuation problem
, many
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 are being kept in the zoo in order to prevent them from extinction. The advantages of
Keeping
Fix capitalization
keeping
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 in the zoo
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 that it can help them grow in
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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 environment, protecting them from hunters,predators. It
also
Linking Words
 keeps them healthy from being sick or injured
due to
Linking Words
 medical
care
Use synonyms
availabilty
Correct your spelling
availability
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are
downsights
Correct your spelling
downsides
. When
animals
Use synonyms
born
Verb problem
are born
show examples
 and raised in the
zoo
Punctuation problem
zoo,
show examples
 it can affect their ability to adapt when they are set free in the woods. Helping
animals
Use synonyms
providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 them
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 right food,
care
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and cost
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cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 a lot of money and
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
 to make it work. Having
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 place where creatures can
activley
Correct your spelling
actively
 practice what they
spoused
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
 to, monkeys
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 when climbing
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
,
elks
Fix the agreement mistake
elk
show examples
 when they are drinking from lakes, being able to live in
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
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 life is very important for
longaviety
Correct your spelling
longevity
 and growth. Food
such
Linking Words
 as bamboo for a panda
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is so hard to find and get.
Animals
Use synonyms
 like that can't be left alone. One of the challenges that we face when trying to save
animals
Use synonyms
 from extinction is the high cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
,drugs,
Use synonyms
care
Correct word choice
and care
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 these things do not come in cheap price.
Although
Linking Words
 it's
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 idea to keep
animals
Use synonyms
gaurded
Correct your spelling
guarded
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people who are
animal friendly
Use the right word
animal-friendly
show examples
 may find it wrong to take
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 the
rihno's
Correct your spelling
rhino's
 freedom. In conclusion
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
Trying
Fix capitalization
trying
show examples
 to
protetc
Correct your spelling
protect
animals
Use synonyms
 from
exctinction
Correct your spelling
extinction
 by keeping them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
well prepared
Use the right word
well-prepared
show examples
 facility can
remakabley
Correct your spelling
remarkably
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 a difference
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Even
so
Punctuation problem
so,
show examples
 it must be done with
care
Use synonyms
 and watching
closley
Correct your spelling
closely
 how it affects the animal in the long run.

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structure
Plan a clear start, body, and end. Say your main idea at the start and finish with a short end.
grammar
Use short, plain sentences. Break long thoughts into small pieces.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, like also, but, and for example.
content
Give 2-3 clear examples for each point. Check facts about animals and their care.
mechanics
Check spelling and mark. Use proper capitals and comma.
content
The essay shows the topic of zoos and how it affects animals.
structure
There is effort to talk about both sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Endangered species
  • Breeding programs
  • Conservation efforts
  • Education and awareness
  • Wildlife protection
  • Natural habitat
  • Veterinary services
  • Poaching
  • Psychological stress
  • Natural behaviors
  • Sustainable solutions
What to do next:
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