IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend?

Whether
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy local or imported products is a topic of considerable debate. I strongly believe that buying local
goods
Use synonyms
 is far more beneficial, as they can bring some long-term economic advantages. One major reason to purchase local
goods
Use synonyms
 is that
increasing
Wrong verb form
it increases
show examples
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 for jobs.
This
Linking Words
 is a valid reason for
people
Use synonyms
 who work in the local industry. To be more specific, the number of job positions can grow as most products are manufactured locally, and more workers will be needed.
For example
Linking Words
, there are just a few countries able to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automobiles,
such
Linking Words
 as Toyota from Japan, and Ford from America. The outstanding automotive industry not only provides
people
Use synonyms
 with more job positions, but
also
Linking Words
 satisfies the basic demand for vehicles for the general public.
Therefore
Linking Words
, encouraging consumers to shop locally significantly helps enhance the local economy. An additional reason for my stance is that the chance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nation to export products to other countries. International trading is important for national development, but it is based on the great ability of mass production.
For instance
Linking Words
, Toyota is an incredible enterprise
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it not only sells
the vehicles to
Correct word order
vehicles to the
show examples
 crowd in Japan, but
also
Linking Words
 exports various models
oversea
Use the right word
overseas
show examples
 as it has sufficient production lines to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international orders.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, keeping local enterprises competitive is a key point to make
people
Use synonyms
 willing to buy local
goods
Use synonyms
, which is a positive cycle of the local economy. In conclusion, these days, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who tend to support local
goods
Use synonyms
 is going higher
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a contemporary trend for many countries
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it is beneficial for the national economy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
State your view in a clear line at the start and finish with a short note on the good or bad trend.
structure
Make the plan clear with one idea in each paragraph and use linking words to connect ideas.
grammar
Use simple words only. Check grammar to fix mistakes like 'opportunity for jobs' and 'out oversea' to 'jobs' and 'overseas'.
content
Give more proof for each idea; add a short stat or clear fact.
content
Add a small look at the other side, even a line, to show balance.
content
The writer shows a clear view that local goods are good for the country.
content
Some real examples are used to support ideas (cars, exports).
structure
The essay follows a clear form with an idea in each part.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local economy
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable consumption
  • supporting local businesses
  • community development
  • cultural heritage
  • self-sufficiency
  • environmental sustainability
  • imported goods
  • fresh produce
  • consumer preference
  • local producers
  • organic products
  • economic impact
  • carbon emissions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: