IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The line graph illustrates changes
of
Change preposition
in
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 received enquiries about information by the tourist office in one city, over a period of six months in
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 that there was
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
while
Linking Words
 there was by email decline, with some noticeable fluctuations during the period. At the beginning of the period, in the person
firstly
Linking Words
 start in January the
number
Use synonyms
 of people 400. As the month passed the start the
number
Use synonyms
rise
Verb problem
started to rise
show examples
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 line was almost 2000
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. It
throu
Verb problem
was conducted
show examples
 by telephone, start
in
Change preposition
of
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 above 800 persons
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 line fluctuation and
stay
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the change between March, April the
number
Use synonyms
 was 1000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by email followed a different trajectory, starting at 800
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the people
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 use
E mail
Use the right word
email
show examples
 when the month
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 down
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 month
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 was almost 400.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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