IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport

In most developed and developing countries, demand for public transportation has grown dramatically. Some
people
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 argue that it is necessary to construct new
railway
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lines
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 to solve
traffic
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 issues,
while
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 others say that money should be spent on improving existing public
transport
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. A discussion of
this
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 issue,
as well as
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 my opinion, will be highlighted in
this
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 write-up. On the one hand, constructing new
railway
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lines
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 is one of the solutions to solve congested
traffic
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 problems. Nowadays, in many countries, there are many different
railway
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lines
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as high-speed rail, SkyTrain, and light rail. All of these methods can deal with long-distance movement and commuting in urban areas.
For example
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, in Taiwan, high-speed rail has noticeably decreased travel time between Taipei and Kaohsiung.
While
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 it can reduce the number of cars
traveling
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travelling
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 between the two cities,
therefore
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, it is a more eco-friendly and convenient way to solve heavy
traffic
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.
On the other hand
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, a large number of
people
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 think that existing public
transport
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 needs to be improved, as it does not require as much money as constructing a new network.
In addition
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, it can encourage
people
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 to use public
transport
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, which can help reduce fossil fuel emissions.
For instance
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, in some Asian countries
such
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 as Japan, Korea, and Taiwan, we can see one lane on the road that belongs specifically to public
transport
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.
As a result
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, it can considerably reduce commute time and encourage
people
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 to use it. In conclusion,
although
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 I agree that building new
railway
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lines
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 may reduce the load on other
transport
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 modes, a comprehensive urban
traffic
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 system is a permanent solution for every country.

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Task Response
In the essay, state your main view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in the rest of the paper.
Coherence
Use more easy link words to show the move from one idea to the next, like first, also, but, however, and in addition.
Coherence
Make each paragraph have one big idea. Start with a clear topic sentence and end with a line that connects to the next paragraph.
Task Response
Add a tiny fact or data in examples to show how the idea works in real life.
Structure
The essay shows a clear view and uses examples.
Coherence
Link words help the flow from idea to idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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