IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Recent advances in air travel have focused only on those sitting in first class and have left other pessengers with no benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The importance of
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
 develops in the
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 industry was concentrated only on passengers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who
travel
Use synonyms
 by first class, ignoring all others. I'm completely against
this
Linking Words
 point of view, and I will support an opposite perspective in the following paragraphs,
discovering
Verb problem
discussing
show examples
 arguments
such
Linking Words
 as safety and fuel economy.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the major changes in aviation are coming from companies
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which develop and create aircraft for the
travel
Use synonyms
 business. For many, if not for all of them, safety is the main priority.
Firstly
Linking Words
, because the aircraft industry is strictly regulated by international and national legislation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the social responsibility and business reputation are too high for plane construction companies as for airlines, which provide
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 service. Obviously, any developments related to safety are not distinct classes of passengers.
For example
Linking Words
,
reliability
Correct article usage
the reliability
show examples
 of the plane structure is vital for all souls on the craft, or
according to
Linking Words
 the international rules, all passengers have to fasten their seatbelts during take-off, landing and on some special occasions in the
air
Use synonyms
. Second thoughts
I
Punctuation problem
, I
show examples
would like to express related to fuel consumption. Nowadays, all businesses operating in the
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 industry are involved in that chase. There could be different reasons , whether economic or political (greenhouse gas reduction).
For instance
Linking Words
, it could be realised via route revision or implementing new eco-friendly processes in craft development or flight organising.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the majority of attempts related to increasing fuel economy generally have an equal effect on all passenger categories. In conclusion, regardless of the reasons which stand behind the considered advances, there is no discrimination between classes.

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task response
State a clear view at once and keep it. Tell if you agree or not in the first line and stay with that view.
structure
Make one idea in each paragraph. Do intro, then 2 or 3 ideas in body, then a short conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, however, in addition to help the flow.
grammar
Fix easy grammar and space issues. Use 'passengers' not 'souls'; remove extra spaces and check verb form.
lexical resource
Add more small facts or clear proof to show your point. Real examples help the case.
task response
The essay shows a clear view that the first class focus is not the only gain.
coherence
The idea of safety and fuel use is on topic and linked to the prompt.
structure
There is an effort to plan and to finish with a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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