IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the plans for designing a trade show floor from 2009 to 2010.

The maps illustrate the data about the projects for building
area
Use synonyms
 for commerce show from 2009 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
 planned huge differences
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some areas changed with places.
While
Linking Words
lounge
Correct article usage
a lounge
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 was added, the meeting
room
Use synonyms
 made
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 for other facilities. In 2009, the main entrance was situated in the north-west corner of the site, which remained
untouchable
Correct word choice
untouched
show examples
 as the side entrance,
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 of which was the north-east corner.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the refreshment zone and registration
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 projected to change with places. The
conference
Use synonyms
hall
Use synonyms
, which was located
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the south of
Correct word order
south of the
show examples
 main entrance. The meeting
room
Use synonyms
 was followed by the
conference
Use synonyms
hall
Use synonyms
. In 2009,
south-eastern
Correct article usage
the south-eastern
show examples
 corner was occupied by
exhibition
Correct article usage
an exhibition
show examples
area
Use synonyms
, which
Linking Words
then was
Correct word order
was then
show examples
 planned to replace the
area
Use synonyms
 of
meeting
Correct article usage
the meeting
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 and
conference
Use synonyms
hall
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the meeting
room
Use synonyms
 was demolished,
Use synonyms
conference
Correct article usage
the conference
show examples
hall
Use synonyms
 moved to the previous zone of
exhibition
Correct article usage
the exhibition
show examples
area
Use synonyms
. The lounge zone was mixed with
balcony
Correct article usage
a balcony
show examples
 rather than destroying it like
meeting
Correct article usage
a meeting
show examples
room
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, room, conference, hall with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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