IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car.

The
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts illustrate the main reasons why people choose to go to their workplace by bicycle and by car.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main reasons behind the bicycle option
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 related to health and environmental issues.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 with the car, the key concern is comfort, followed by distance.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, people choose to use their
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 because of
two
Use synonyms
ruling
Correct word choice
main
show examples
 reasons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are health/fitness and less pollution. These
two
Use synonyms
 share the
winner
Check wording
winner's
show examples
 place with 30% each. After that, the issues in parking
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 up 15% of the pie chart, followed by the cheapness of riding a bike.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
personnal
Correct your spelling
personal
 cars take more time than the bike
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is the least given excuse. Another way people choose
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is driving. First of all, the comfort that comes with driving is the major reason
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 takes up 40%. The distance between the house and the work is almost half of the first one (with 21%). Next up,
two
Use synonyms
 equally troubling issues
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 the drive being faster and the need to carry stuff. Takes up 14% of the pie chart each.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the reason that comes to mind the least is safety
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is at 11%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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