IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, people work in more than one job , and often change careers several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this ?

There is no denying the fact that some groups are
straggling
Use the right word
struggling
show examples
 with several jobs for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life.
While
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 it is some individuals think
widely
Punctuation problem
widely,
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 they
also
Linking Words
 need to have multiple careers in their
cv
Use the right word
CV
show examples
.
This
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 essay will describe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages and disadvantages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.
To begin
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 with, like
this
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 they could live better by going to other places to work,
instead
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 of one function which is not enough for their life standards and for
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 families.
In other words
Linking Words
, they might learn new things and have a
wanderful
Correct your spelling
wonderful
 experience in that current job, since they have a good experience that
also
Linking Words
 would support them to deal with negative
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 they would face in future.
In addition
Linking Words
, matching with people could have benefits, and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 them know how to address their responsibilities.
For example
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, in the USA , students become employed before
get
Correct pronoun usage
they get
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 to college. Another point to consider, that
makes
Correct pronoun usage
it makes
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 young people and some community members feel tired, because there are have to work for a long time, and that makes them concerned. It is possible to say that some of them give up and start to use the insurance from the government, but it is still not enough for them.
Moreover
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, that could increase the percentage of crimes similar to theft and etc. In conclusion, from my perspective, I tend to
the
Verb problem
think the
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 government
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a huge right to create a
justice
Use the right word
just
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 society, and help local people to live better, without fear
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and if they can live like other individuals as well.

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structure
Plan your essay. Use three parts: intro, two body parts (good and bad), and a short end.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Link with small words like and, but, also.
grammar
Use easy words. Check form of words and spelling.
content
Give one real example for each point to show it.
task use
You take up the topic well and you try to show more than one side.
content
There is an idea of using a small example (USA) to show a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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