IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years?

The celebration of the United
Use synonyms
Nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
show examples
 of its 70th anniversary has just ended
recently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. And there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 many benefits that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 brought during that time.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how the UN will
last
Linking Words
 another 70
years
Use synonyms
. Throughout the
pat
Use the right word
past
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 United Nations delivered many great
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
oprotonity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to the world in the best ways possible. For
exaple
Correct your spelling
example
,
provideing
Correct your spelling
providing
 and donating items for the
surounded
Correct your spelling
surrounding
 countries to
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
 the economy of the
Nation
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 acting up and standing by them when needed. 
As well as
Linking Words
 human rights, the community felt heard and protected during that time. So whenever there was any issue that they
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
, they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 sure that it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be solved.
This
Linking Words
 will make the countries unite in advance to make the world survive, and that shows that it will
last
Linking Words
 in the upcoming 70
years
Use synonyms
. There might be some major issues depending on the events that might happen during that period.
However
Linking Words
, they must have a great structured
plan
Use synonyms
 to maintain the United
Use synonyms
Nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
show examples
. Preparing and
schduleing
Correct your spelling
scheduling
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
, calls, exchanging products, and arranging events is a
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 key to
sustain
Wrong verb form
sustaining
show examples
 it.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, having the right
plan
Use synonyms
budget
Correct word choice
and budget
show examples
 to arrange these
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 another key factor to succeed. In
conclousion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the United
Use synonyms
Nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
show examples
 will have a great
plan
Use synonyms
 to make it
last
Linking Words
 for another 70
years
Use synonyms
, if they put the effort and money in the right place.
they
Use the right word
The
show examples
 key is to have a yearly
plan
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 maintenance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Fix many grammar and spelling errors; use only common words and correct forms.
structure
Plan before you write. Use one plan: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence
Keep one idea per paragraph and use simple linking words to show how ideas fit.
content
There is a real topic and the writer starts to talk about both good points and the future.
structure
The essay tries to have a start and end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: