IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children are given too much free time.They feel that this time should be used to do more school time. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Kids have so much free time in their
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 that many parents think they should
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend it more on school. But from my experience, a child must not spend too much time on school,but rather
foucses
Correct your spelling
focuses
 more on new experiences, like playing guitar and
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
 if he likes it or not.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I think it should be more
foucesd
Correct your spelling
focused
 on
also
Linking Words
 learning to draw, because hobbies like these cultivate creativity. Playing instruments
activate
Correct subject-verb agreement
activates
show examples
 the left part of the brain,which
responsible
Verb problem
is responsible
show examples
 for
thinkin
Correct your spelling
thinking

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structure
Plan your essay with a small map: a short intro, two or three ideas in the body, a short ending.
content
Make one clear view in the intro and keep it in the body. Do not change your mind too soon.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit: and, but, also, then, finally.
examples
Give one or two examples from life or school to back up a point.
grammar
Fix spell and math: focus, feeling; keep a neat form.
idea
You want time for things beyond school and you say why this helps.
content
You name two clear ideas (guitar and drawing) to show your view.
style
Your sentences are simple and easy to read.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extracurricular activities
  • physical health
  • social skills
  • creativity
  • teamwork
  • self-discipline
  • love for learning
  • time management
  • decision-making
  • hobbies
  • well-rounded upbringing
  • family bonds
  • responsibility
What to do next:
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