IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, responsible tourists have paid attention to preserving both the culture and the environment of the place they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A respect to the way of living, customs, and environment of certain nations, they are considered more as an important part of tourism.
Conversely
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, a few say that responsible tourism is barely achievable.
Thus
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, I strongly agree that visiting another
country
Use synonyms
 can not just be enjoyable, but
also
Linking Words
 safe for its traditions and environment via checking information beforehand to know the contexts and having personal moral principles.
To begin
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 with, each
country
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 has its own unwritten rules , and they are usually based on traditions, behaviour, and taboos. By knowing them,
people
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 can show respect to a
country
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 of visit as a basic human right, not intruding on the order of things
locals
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 are used to.
For example
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, before visiting Japan, tourists had better be still in the metro as
locals
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 do and learn basic phrases in Japanese only because Japanese
people
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 have rooted these aspects of their life
due to
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 a historical context. And, breaking these rules,
locals
Use synonyms
 may become hostile to foreigners.
Moreover
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, it is a personal
accountability
Check wording
responsibility
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to have proper manners.
Thus
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, oversorting garbage in South Korea, steering away
streets from
Correct word order
from streets
show examples
 being contaminated, which to individuals from other countries might seem a bit odd. By these small efforts, South Korea has preserved mass and stunning mountain landscapes. On top of that,
while
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 travelling, tourists oftentimes throw their rubbish in the area of historical relics,
thus
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 demeaning not only monuments, but
also
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 the culture of the visiting
country
Use synonyms
. I think
people
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 need to be more cautious
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when exploring other states
due to
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 unanticipated settings they can encounter. And, standing respectfully, even overdoing
such
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 behaviour would be treated badly by the
locals
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. On the other way around, some still believe that it is impossible to be respectful in another part of the world
due to
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 their own biases about
people
Use synonyms
 and the
country
Use synonyms
 as a whole. A blissful unawareness can mislead
people
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 in different contexts.
This
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 is the reason why they tend to revert to their home
country
Use synonyms
 behaviour. To nutshell the aforementioned, I firmly consent that being polite to both culture and environment depends on personal biases and awareness that
people
Use synonyms
 can expand prior to visiting foreign places.
Such
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 preparedness gives a more positive experience of a trip for tourists themselves and
locals
Use synonyms
 as well.

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coherence
Use clear links to show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence
content
You take a clear view and keep it.
example
You give real places, like Japan and Korea, as examples.
structure
You try to tie culture and care for the place.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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