IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Freshwater has always a limited resource in some nations of the world. Today, however, growing Google demand has turned this problem into Global one. What are the causes behind the increased demand and what steps can government and individual take to address this problem?

Answer It is
inevitable
Correct article usage
an inevitable
show examples
 fact that
water
Use synonyms
 is one of the fundamental sources of sustainability. In many countries, with the rising population,
water
Use synonyms
 consumption is
also
Linking Words
 surging significantly, given that population growth is directly
proportionate
Replace the word
proportional
show examples
 to the increasing demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, with the limited availability of freshwater, it has become a Global challenge for humanity to survive. The
causes
Use synonyms
 of
reducing
Wrong verb form
the reduced
show examples
 level of drinking
water
Use synonyms
 and steps to address
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the prevailing situation would be
analyzed
Change the spelling
analysed
show examples
 in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, inefficient
water
Use synonyms
 usage is the main cause of
water
Use synonyms
 shortage. With the industrial growth and
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 expansion,
water
Use synonyms
 demand has
also
Linking Words
 escalated. Rather than adopting alternative sources of
Use synonyms
energy
Punctuation problem
energy,
show examples
 they mainly use
water
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultivation and manufacturing, which is one of the major
causes
Use synonyms
 of
reducing
Replace the word
the reduction in
show examples
 sea level.
For example
Linking Words
, for generating electricity, many industries use
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 quantity of
water
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, there are various other renewable sources of
energy
Use synonyms
, which can serve the purpose,
such
Linking Words
 as wind
energy
Use synonyms
 and solar
energy
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rapid
urbanization
Change the spelling
urbanisation
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 one of the
causes
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 deficit.
While
Linking Words
 some modern appliances
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 to reduce
water
Use synonyms
 wastage,
Linking Words
whereas
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there are a few activities that
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to poor
water
Use synonyms
 management
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
water
Use synonyms
 purifier, which discards
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 quantity of
water
Use synonyms
 into drainage rather than cleaning it for
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these kind of activities needs supervision to
prevent
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
water
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sustainability. There are numerous ways through which
water
Use synonyms
 usage can be regulated. If citizens of the nation
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 responsibility in a rational manner, it can be preserved. It can only be possible if they are being educated about
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
. Government intervention is required to initiate educational campaigns.
Additionally
Linking Words
, authorities can
also
Linking Words
 introduce stringent policies and implement
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for
welfare
Correct article usage
the welfare
show examples
 of the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, lawmakers can set a limit on
water
Use synonyms
 supply to industries and
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
, which might ultimately
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 let people use it responsibly.
As a result
Linking Words
, these measures can have positive effects and
also
Linking Words
 might help society to save
water
Use synonyms
 for
next
Correct word choice
future
show examples
 generations. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
large scale
Use the right word
large-scale
show examples
 agriculture and
industrialization
Change the spelling
industrialisation
show examples
 are major
causes
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 shortage, these consequences can be addressed if used efficiently
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be done by initiating educational campaigns
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
implementing
water
Use synonyms
 conversational measures by the government.

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task response
Plan the essay with a clear plan. Start with a short view in the intro. Then two body parts: causes, then steps. End with a short conclusion.
coherence
Use a topic sentence in each paragraph and link ideas. Use simple linking words like also, however, for example.
content
Give more detail to each point. Check facts and keep ideas simple and true. Use easy words.
language
Check grammar, agree subject and verb, and use common words.
structure
Clear plan and easy to see aim.
content
Attempt to link causes with steps.
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