IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to move from rural to
cities
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 directly
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 to
population
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
is decreasing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. I believe that it is
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 development because
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 trends will make
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in the
cities
Use synonyms
 dramatically
increase
Use synonyms
 and
productive
Correct article usage
the productive
show examples
 age
population
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 decrease. Since
this
Linking Words
 trend will continue in the future, the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of overcrowding in the city will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
.
Increasing
Correct article usage
An increasing
show examples
Use synonyms
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 indirectly
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 several
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 in the city,
such
Linking Words
 as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and
crimininality
Correct your spelling
crime
.
Due to
Linking Words
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 city, the
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many things
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 apartment. That
makes
Wrong verb form
will increase
show examples
 the price of apartments will
increase
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 problem
also
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to criminality, since the price of many things is
pricy
Correct word choice
high
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 will
do
Verb problem
engage in
show examples
 various
number
Use synonyms
 of activity to afford the things, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is criminal.
For example
Linking Words
, based on the data, it
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that there are various
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of criminality in Jakarta
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 economic
.
Check wording
reasons.
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend
also
Linking Words
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 our
foods
Check wording
food's
show examples
 stability.
Use synonyms
Countryside
Correct article usage
The countryside
show examples
 functions
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to produce
various
Check wording
a variety
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
foods material
Fix the agreement mistake
food materials
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as rice and livestock. Since the rural
population
Use synonyms
move
Wrong verb form
has moved
show examples
 to the
cities
Use synonyms
, there are no
people
Use synonyms
 working in
this
Linking Words
 sector and food production is declining,
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
 for productive age inhabitants.
For example
Linking Words
, in South Lombok, the
number
Use synonyms
 of inhabitants is declining,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of production in
this
Linking Words
 place and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
import several
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
 from other areas.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think that moving from rural
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
 to
cities
Use synonyms
 is not good.
People
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 are needed in order to maintain the stability of our food and keep
cities
Use synonyms
 from overpopulation.

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task response
In task response, state your view clearly in the first sentence, then give 2-3 strong reasons with simple examples. Make sure you answer all parts of the question.
coherence cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, keep ideas in order, and use simple linking words like and, but, so, because to join ideas.
task response
Clear view that moving to cities is negative.
coherence cohesion
Intro, body, and conclusion are present with some flow.
content
Some examples given (Jakarta, South Lombok) show real life links.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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