IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The bestway to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The
smartway
Correct your spelling
smart way
 to decrease
teens
Fix the agreement mistake
teen
show examples
 crime is to teach people who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a child about good parenting skills. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view
,
Punctuation problem
.
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in
Change preposition
apply
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Linking Words
further
Fix capitalization
Further
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 below
some
Punctuation problem
, some
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 arguments will be provided. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should give permission to people. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
 is some people are not ready for children
by two-sided
Use the right word
on two sides
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as financial and psychological. Nowadays,
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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 to child is increasing, which means
parents
Use synonyms
 should earn more
money
Use synonyms
 than before because their family
Verb problem
has increases
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increases
Replace the word
increased
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 by one.
In addition
Linking Words
, baby
Use synonyms
stuffs
Fix the agreement mistake
stuff
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 like nappies, gruels and their clothes are expensive than
average
Correct article usage
the average
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 expense
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 many families
are
Verb problem
apply
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can not afford
Use synonyms
stuffs like
Check wording
such items
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
When
Fix capitalization
when
show examples
 some families
hoping
Verb problem
are hoping
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 for
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
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,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or their job should give them extra
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 afford their baby’s
Use synonyms
stuffs
Fix the agreement mistake
stuff
show examples
 and education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
 reason why
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 should give them extra
money
Use synonyms
. To clarify, the reason I am saying
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is
many
Correct word choice
that many
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parents
Use synonyms
 do not
work on
Verb problem
have
show examples
 any opportunities.
For example
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 did not study at university or who got a
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not earn
money
Use synonyms
. Even if
parents
Use synonyms
 going to do
some
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 attempt, they will not earn that much enough
money
Use synonyms
 to afford
child’s
Correct pronoun usage
their child’s
show examples
Use synonyms
stuffs
Fix the agreement mistake
stuff
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is not only parenting or
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 financial support. To explain,
approximately
Rephrase
almost
show examples
 all
parents
Use synonyms
 will great upbringing or pray for their children to be successful. As an illustration, after being
teenager
Correct article usage
a teenager
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 or
more
Verb problem
growing more
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growth
Check wording
apply
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, their
parents
Use synonyms
’ upbringing
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will not work. At that age
teenagers
Punctuation problem
, teenagers
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 or young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 will think they are ready for life, even do not listen
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 and do
what ever
Use the right word
whatever
show examples
 they
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have to check their child, mainly what kind of friends they
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
 and what kind of things
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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interest
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. What I am going to clarify is around at that
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 teenagers or young
adults
Punctuation problem
adults,
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are
Verb problem
they become
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addicting
Replace the word
addicted
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 to drugs because of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 classmate or
coursemate
Correct article usage
a coursemate
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. What I will give as an example is that type of friend
will
Correct pronoun usage
who will
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 destroy their mind and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
. After that, they will give
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 direction to their interest and purpose. In a nutshell,
although
Linking Words
 there are many benefits of good parenting, I firmly believe that it is not only the
parent’s
Check wording
parents’
show examples
 fault
mainly
Punctuation problem
, mainly
show examples
 about their friends and interests.

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task response
Show a clear view at the start; keep to one big idea in each paragraph. Do not over talk other topics like money support if the task asks about parenting.
task response
Make a plan before you write. Use 3 to 4 long ideas. explain each idea with a simple example.
coherence
Use topic sentences to begin each paragraph. Use linking words to join ideas, e.g., also, but, however, for example.
coherence
Keep the flow from one idea to the next. Use pronouns to refer back, and repeat key idea a bit to stay on topic.
language
Check grammar and word choice. Use simple words. Fix errors like 'to', 'too', 'their' and verb forms.
content
The writer takes a clear view and states it early.
structure
There is paragraph work and a basic plan in place.
content
Some examples are given to help the idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting education
  • behavioural strategies
  • family relationships
  • communication
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • peer pressure
  • societal issues
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • comprehensive community programs
  • law enforcement
  • legal consequences
  • deter
What to do next:
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