Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, howeve, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public health
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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major
Correct article usage
a major
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concern for
numerouse contries
Correct your spelling
numerous countries
as
people
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not perform and follow
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
healthy routine. There are plenty of
people
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believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
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that it could improve if
people
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would be
Wrong verb form
were
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involved with
sports
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facilities
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.
However
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, other individuals opine that it does not
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
majorly on
people
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's
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
show examples
there
Punctuation problem
; there
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are other
meausre
Correct your spelling
measures
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
daily exercise and the restriction in
food
Use synonyms
could bring numerous health benefits
among
Change preposition
to
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community
Correct article usage
the community
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.
This
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essay will discuss both the views and explain my opinion. On the one hand,
incerasing
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increasing
Correct article usage
the numner
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numner
Correct your spelling
number
of
facilities
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in
sports
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including
Punctuation problem
, including
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playgrounds and
sports
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Replace the word
centres
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center
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center,
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could bring plenty of advantages for
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people'
Check wording
people's
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well being
Use the right word
well-being
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. To describe
this
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, a
constructing
Replace the word
constructed
show examples
playground
near by
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nearby
show examples
city areas where humankind can easily visit and spend time to play their
favirout
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favourite
games can assist
people
Use synonyms
being
Change preposition
in being
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active and healthy.
Likewise
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, building the
sports
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
in each town can
be empowered
Wrong verb form
empower
show examples
people
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to visit that
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
and play
sports
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their spare time with kith and kins, and
thus
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could help
streach
Correct your spelling
stretch
their body
while
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playing.
For instance
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,
accordingly
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the
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to the
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survey of
New
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The New
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York Times in york
city
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City
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,
people
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are willing to
do
Verb problem
apply
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join the
sports
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clubs if the government
will invest
Wrong verb form
invests
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to construct
Change preposition
in constructing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Thus
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, increasing the
sports
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facilities
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can help
people
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healthier
Correct word choice
stay healthy
show examples
in their daily routine.
On the other hand
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, restriction in
food
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consumption and doing daily
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
could assist human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
to be active in their life. To explain
this
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, a normal
excersice
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exercise
at home or visiting
gym
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a gym
show examples
consistently could help
to
Verb problem
apply
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poeple
Correct your spelling
people
lose their body fat and make them active in daily life.
Moreover
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, there is no doubt that currently
people
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not have any control in their
food
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consumption, likely eating sugar and fast
food
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are becoming more common among
youngsters
Punctuation problem
youngsters,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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should be avoided and
commence
Wrong verb form
commencing
show examples
the eating
healthy
Change preposition
of healthy
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food
Use synonyms
could help
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
more than
this
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.
While
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restriction
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
could
also
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assist
people
Use synonyms
to make themself
helthier
Correct your spelling
healthier
.
Consequensly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, following these two
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
would help
people
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to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
healthy.
To conclude
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, I believe that
although
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increasing the
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
could assist
people
Use synonyms
to be
halthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
, following
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
excersice
Correct your spelling
exercise
routine, and eating healthy
food
Use synonyms
should
also
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bring numerous benefits for
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a clear idea in the intro and end with a simple restatement of your view.
coherence
Use joining words to link ideas and make the flow smooth.
grammar
Check grammar and spell very well. Use correct verb forms and easy words.
examples
Give one clear example for each idea and avoid too many random facts.
content
You try to show both sides and give a view at the end.
content
There is effort to describe reasons for both sides.
language
Some sentences carry ideas clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • obesity rates
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • multi-faceted approach
  • diet education
  • health screenings
  • government policies
  • pollution reduction
  • living conditions
  • community programs
  • mental health services
  • investment
  • accessible
  • complement
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