IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their or region others believe that it still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life discuss both views and give your own opinion

In
this
Linking Words
 modern
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 the majority of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 no interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customs
Use synonyms
 and
traditions
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others consider
Use synonyms
traditions
Correct word choice
that traditions
show examples
 are preserved
Change preposition
in individuals
show examples
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
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 lives. From my personal standpoint, in
today’s
Use synonyms
 world
many
Punctuation problem
, many
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people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
show indifference to local
customs
Use synonyms
 in favour of embracing global ideas. On the one hand,
Globalization
Change the spelling
Globalisation
show examples
 has completely transformed traditional culture.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 found it
Use synonyms
traditions
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
repetitive and
Correct word order
and repetitive
show examples
superficial
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
due
Verb problem
is due
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 to the fact that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 technology has particularly influenced
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
. It is evident that modern technology
dominate
Correct subject-verb agreement
dominates
show examples
adults
Check wording
adults'
show examples
 leisure time rather than following
customs
Use synonyms
. As an example of
this
Linking Words
, more than half of
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
 population prefer listening to music by Ed Sheeran or Rauf Faik rather than the traditional music of their country
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is often seen as outdated.
Linking Words
Similarly
Punctuation problem
Similarly,
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 many mankind would prefer to eat foreign foods since they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 traditional foods dull and outdated.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minority of
people
Use synonyms
 still choose
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 way of life.
Although
Linking Words
 it
seen
Verb problem
is seen
show examples
 as outdated.
Mainly
Punctuation problem
Mainly,
show examples
 senior citizens maintain
traditions
Use synonyms
owing to
Verb problem
because
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 they
used
Verb problem
are used
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 to things that have been done. When they remember
it
Punctuation problem
it,
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 they
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
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 nostalgia.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 matter
fact
Change preposition
of fact
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 that in the mid-twentieth second half of 20th century in America
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
group of
people
Use synonyms
 who
were
Use the right word
wore
show examples
 leather jackets and
listen
Wrong verb form
listened
show examples
bike
Check wording
to music
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 motor scooters and wore different clothes
such
Linking Words
 as drainable jeans, leather jackets and colored suits. They always listened
Rock
Change preposition
to Rock
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 and Roll. These groups
Verb problem
are popular
show examples
popular
Replace the word
popularly
show examples
 called mainstream society. Perhaps most of them
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 under 30. Compared to
today’s
Use synonyms
 young
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 all
traditions
Use synonyms
disappeared
Verb problem
have disappeared
show examples
.
Today’s
Use synonyms
 youth
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 first
glance
Punctuation problem
glance,
show examples
 at least look more homogenous and
seeming
Wrong verb form
seem to have
show examples
 lost their tribalism. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today’s
Use synonyms
 young
off-springs
Use the right word
offspring
show examples
 have no mindset about
traditions
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
great
Correct article usage
the great
show examples
 influence of technology. But some
people
Use synonyms
 still want to continue
customs
Use synonyms
 as it
seeing
Wrong verb form
is seen
show examples
 as their identity. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 it is not a crucial factor
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 maintain
traditions
Use synonyms
.

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planning
Plan before you write. Make a small plan with intro, 2 body parts, and a conclusion.
grammar
Use simple grammar and short sent. Check verb forms (have/has/is/are).
content
Give clear examples and show how they prove your point.
cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas so the essay flows.
content
The essay tries to discuss both views and to give your own view.
organization
There is an attempt to have a start and end to the essay.
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