IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Some youngsters are relocating to urban regions from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 for
betterment of life
Replace the word
better living
show examples
, which
contributed
Verb problem
has contributed
show examples
 to the fact that only
old age
Correct word choice
older
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are left in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes that the main problems associated with moving to metropolitan
areas
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 underdeveloped rural
areas
Use synonyms
 and a feeling of loneliness among elderly
people
Use synonyms
 who are left behind , and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 suggests some strict measures by the government as the most viable solutions. The principal
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 is
rural
Correct word choice
that rural
show examples
 regions
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 undeveloped
Many
Punctuation problem
. Many
show examples
 individuals
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
search of high remuneration,to pursue their higher education or get treatment for
choronic
Correct your spelling
chronic
 diseases in
multi-specialitity
Correct your spelling
multi-speciality
hospitals
Punctuation problem
hospitals,
show examples
 move there,
results
Wrong verb form
resulting in
show examples
 only old age
people
Use synonyms
 left and improvement in countryside
areas
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some elderly
people
Use synonyms
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 alone and
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 from depression as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 relocate from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
. Solutions to these worrying problems are imposing strict rules by authorities,
such
Linking Words
 as
provision
Correct article usage
the provision
show examples
 of more vacancies in undeveloped
areas
Use synonyms
 so that
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
show examples
 division of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 can be done.
In addition
Linking Words
, some recreational parks should be there for elderly
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
desurable
Correct your spelling
desirable
jobs
Punctuation problem
jobs,
show examples
 youngsters
moves
Correct subject-verb agreement
move
show examples
 to cities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 old age
people
Use synonyms
left
Verb problem
are left
show examples
 alone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 they feel
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 and rural regions are not developed and
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to move to
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 ;
however
Linking Words
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should take
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 some strict measures
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
 problem can be resolved .

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structure
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, two body parts (problems and solutions), and a short conclusion.
language
Use simple and correct grammar and punctuation; keep sentences short and easy to read.
lexical
Be steady with words. Use 'rural areas' and 'countryside' in the same way and stay with the most clear term.
content
Give a short example or detail for each point to back it up.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect and keep ideas in a clear order.
content
The essay shows a plan to talk about both problems and ways to fix them.
coherence
Some linking words are used and there is a sense of flow in places.
content
There is an aim to use ideas from policy to help the problem.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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