IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of educa''tion. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university?

It has
seen
Verb problem
been seen
show examples
 that studying at universities has been growing among many youths for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 few decades. Some argue that it has positive
sites
Check wording
effects
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as rising
overall
Linking Words
 literacy level of the society
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, others
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 it causes
low quality
Use the right word
low-quality
show examples
 education. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 some possible benefits are provided,
as well as
Linking Words
 some drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Add a clear plan with an intro, two main parts on both views, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Use simple linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however' to connect ideas.
content
Give one or two exact points to back up the view and stay on one idea per sentence.
content
The topic is clear, and the writer shows two sides.
structure
There is an attempt to discuss benefits and drawbacks.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: