More and more young people use the Internet to socialize. Why do you think young people prefer this way of socializing? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, the number of younger people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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are using
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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to
socialize
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socialise
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with other mates
have
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has
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increased. I believe that
this
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is a result of youngsters not being as socially secure as adults. And I highly support that
this
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matter is affecting the younger generation negatively.
For instance
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, it is already
wery
Correct your spelling
very
hard to start a conversation with a stranger.
This
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consern
Correct your spelling
concern
is mostly higher in physical life moments.
This
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issue increased the popularity of the
internet
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and social media usage among the
smaler
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smaller
members.
In contrast
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, many years
ago
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ago,
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children stood more
self secure
Use the right word
self-secure
show examples
infront
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in front
of the public. It used to be easier for them to just go out and play physical games in reality. No one would judge them
with
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for
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being
them selves
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themselves
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.
However
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, now it is almost impossible to do
any thing
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anything
show examples
without thinking about the results.
This
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matter forced
kids
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to stay at home and not
to
Verb problem
apply
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do childish things. It
also
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made them more
internaly
Correct your spelling
internally
insecure.
Although
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,
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apply
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this
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is
totaly
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totally
not the case in
digital
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a digital
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environment. The
judgement
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judgment
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is not as high as it is in reality.
With
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By
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compairing
Correct your spelling
comparing
the interests with other people
among
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on
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the platforms,
kids
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become more able to find the proper friends. It is much easier to create new connections with people from around the world. With
the
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apply
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access to the
internet
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,
kids
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become
Verb problem
are
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able to play more online games from right
incide
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inside
of
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apply
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their houses. But the worst part of it is
,
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apply
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that
kids
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are getting
edicted
Correct your spelling
addicted
to the technology they use in order to play games.
This
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problem even affected the eating
of
Check wording
habits of
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teens. With the
raise
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rise
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of online game consumption,
kids
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began to develop eating disorders.
Also
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, the rate of obesity among
the
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apply
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children has increased
due to
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this
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issue.  In conclusion,
besides
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the benefits of
socializing
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socialising
show examples
via
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, the health of
kids
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has been affected
extreamely
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extremely
bad
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badly
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.
This
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negative result will harm them in
Correct article usage
the long-run
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long-run
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long run
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even
wers
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worse
.
more
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More
show examples
children should go out to increase their social skills.

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task
State a clear plan at the start. Give your opinion in the first sentence and stick to it.
structure
Use a simple essay layout: short intro, 2–3 clear body parts, short conclusion.
content
Develop each point with a simple example or reason and avoid too many long or wrong spellings.
language
Check spelling and grammar to avoid mistakes that make your meaning hard to see.
content
The essay shows you can point to a link between online use and social life.
organization
There is a basic idea of a downside to being online that you note.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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