IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People have always imagined what an ideal
society
Use synonyms
 might look like, yet most attempts to create
one
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 fall short. In my view, an ideal
society
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 is
one
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 in which people enjoy fairness, security, and a high quality of life.
Although
Linking Words
 perfection may be unattainable, meaningful progress can be made by improving
education
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,
healthcare
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, and public
infrastructure
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.
To begin
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 with,
education
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 is
one
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 of the most fundamental human rights, and universal access to it is essential for building a well-functioning
society
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. When individuals from all backgrounds can obtain quality schooling, they are more likely to become productive, innovative, and responsible citizens.
For instance
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, expanding educational opportunities in many developing countries has led to creative solutions
such
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 as student‑designed irrigation systems and low‑cost technologies.
This
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 demonstrates that
education
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 forms the foundation of a more progressive and equitable community. Another key factor is the availability of reliable
healthcare
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. When people trust that they can receive timely and affordable medical treatment, social stability increases. Strong
healthcare
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 systems not only improve public
wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 but
also
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 reduce fear and uncertainty during emergencies. Countries that responded effectively to recent global health crises showed how essential medical preparedness is for maintaining order and protecting citizens.
Therefore
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, investment in
healthcare
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 is a crucial step toward creating an ideal
society
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.
Finally
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, high-quality
infrastructure
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 contributes significantly to people’s happiness and daily comfort. Facilities
such
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 as clean water systems, efficient transportation networks, steady electricity, and recreational spaces make life more convenient and enjoyable. In many cities, the development of parks and green areas has boosted residents’ satisfaction and strengthened community bonds.
This
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 shows that
infrastructure
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 plays a vital role in shaping a harmonious
society
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. In conclusion,
while
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 a perfectly utopian
society
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 may be impossible to achieve, striving toward
one
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 is both valuable and realistic. By prioritising
education
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,
healthcare
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, and
infrastructure
Use synonyms
, communities can create conditions that bring them much closer to an ideal and fulfilling way of life

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task response
Make your main idea clear in the first line and keep it in every paragraph.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas fit together, such as 'also', 'in addition', 'however'.
content
Add one or two more real life examples to back every point.
vocabulary
Use easy words. Avoid hard or long words.
mechanics
Check punctuation and keep paragraphs balanced (about 4–6 sentences each).
structure
The essay has a clear plan with three main ideas.
introduction conclusion
The opening states the view and the essay has a clear ending.
content
Examples fit the topic and show the point well.
coherence
The flow of ideas is easy to read and follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ideal society
  • equality
  • social justice
  • sustainable practices
  • community engagement
  • economic stability
  • cultural diversity
  • accessible healthcare
  • fair justice system
  • educational opportunities
  • environmental sustainability
  • active participation
  • inclusive society
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