IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?

Nowadays,
tourist
Use synonyms
 prefer to visit remote and
picteresque
Correct your spelling
picturesque
 villages in their travel, meanwhile many local communities worry about
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 on cultural attractions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue what
problems
Use synonyms
 it
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 and how
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 can be solved. It causes
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 spend a
lo
Use the right word
lot
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to keep them in good condition and to make
comfort visiting
Verb problem
it comfortable
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
to visit.
show examples
One
Use synonyms
 important reason why it
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 is that tourists can damage and dirty the area. Actions that
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 do
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
 damage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions are littering, writing on the walls,
break
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 part of the building,
air
Correct word choice
and air
show examples
 pollution
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 many transport carry
people
Use synonyms
 from
one
Use synonyms
 site to another. Despite the fact that there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of signs that warn
people
Use synonyms
 to be careful and if the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
 broken, they have to pay
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy fines.
People
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
,
littering
Wrong verb form
litter
show examples
 the area
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 food that they eat and bottles of water or
another drink
Fix the agreement mistake
other drinks
show examples
. Or some
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 like to break part of the historical thing for memory.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 have to spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to keep these places
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clean, and to make safe and comfortable conditions to visit.  There are several ways how can be
solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
 of them is to open
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions for
one
Use synonyms
season
Use synonyms
. It
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the number of
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in another
season
Use synonyms
 and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 for a long time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 will not spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 every
season
Use synonyms
. Another solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem is to make online
visiting
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
. Nowadays, technologies are very developed in every sphere. Making
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 visiting website
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to
safe
Verb problem
keep safe
show examples
 ecosystem in good condition. It is
also
Linking Words
 convenient for
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 as they will not spend time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going there and can
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 more
money
Use synonyms
.  In conclusion, it causes serious
problems
Use synonyms
 that have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact on the local environment
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as littering, air pollution,
writing
Correct word choice
and writing
show examples
 on the walls.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to keep them.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 can be solved through opening for
one
Use synonyms
season
Use synonyms
 and making
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 excursion.

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task
Plan your essay. Say what you will write and then what you found. Make your view clear from the start.
coherence
Make one clear goal for each paragraph. Use link words to move from one idea to the next.
coherence
Use facts or small facts to back what you say. Give one or two good examples.
lexical
Keep to simple words. Check that words match their use.
grammar
Fix grammar. Watch verb form and plural s.
content
The essay shows a view of the problem and a plan to fix it.
structure
Some simple ideas are easy to follow.
language
There is a good attempt to use a few examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fragile ecosystems
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • commodification
  • economic disparities
  • resource strain
  • community involvement
  • empowerment
  • sustainable practices
  • ecological footprint
  • responsible behavior
  • fair distribution
What to do next:
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