Some people believe that children should be required to do community service in their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, authorities are trying to improve the quality of social structure by working with the young generation.
According to
Linking Words
one opinion, children's free
time
Use synonyms
should be spent on community service,
while
Linking Words
the opposing view disagrees.
This
Linking Words
essay partially agrees with the opinion in terms of creating beneficial individuals for society, and disagrees with the right to choose their own
time
Use synonyms
management. Making younger people useful for community services is a way of educating them. First of all,
this
Linking Words
practice in their younger years may help them gain a habit. The habit of making beneficial activities for society will
also
Linking Words
help them to be a beneficial person. Raising individuals who are beneficial to society
also
Linking Words
helps to maintain social happiness. As an example, a child with an uninterested family can spend his/her
time
Use synonyms
on the streets and tend to do illegal activities cause of their peers. Educating them and providing them
an
Change preposition
with an
show examples
alternative activity will increase the standard of living. As an opposing idea, controlling children in how they manage their free
time
Use synonyms
can lead to raising them under pressure. Choosing their free
time
Use synonyms
activities by the authorities would prevent them from improving in their areas of interest and hobbies.
For example
Linking Words
, a child with a talent for playing an instrument or doing a sport would spend his/her
time
Use synonyms
doing social tasks, and it would affect their future negatively.
As a result
Linking Words
, managing the free
time
Use synonyms
of the children may help them to spend their
time
Use synonyms
in a beneficial area, but its potential negative results
also
Linking Words
must be considered by the authorities. The
socialogy experts
Correct your spelling
sociologists
must work on how these negative results can be eliminated.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Try to fix the big grammar mistakes and make each sentence easy to read.
structure
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and restate it in the end.
content
Give more clear examples and show how they prove your point.
language
Check words that are not used well and spelling.
cohesion
Use simple connect words to show order, like First, Next, Then, Finally.
content
The writer shows a clear view and tries to explain it.
coherence
There is a use of linking words to connect ideas.
structure
The essay has a short and clear conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: