IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

In the modern
eon
Check wording
era
show examples
, improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
,
highways
Use synonyms
, and
roads
Use synonyms
protect
Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
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 human lives and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. Some
people
Use synonyms
ought
Verb problem
think
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 that authorities should invest more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as buses, subways, and trains,
while
Linking Words
 others think that improving
roads
Use synonyms
 and
highways
Use synonyms
 should be given priority.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting my opinion. On the one hand, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
 and
highways
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more important than public
transportation
Use synonyms
 because many
people
Use synonyms
 use private vehicles for daily events
such
Linking Words
 as
commuters
Use the right word
commuting
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, business, etc. The government should
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 more
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving
highways
Use synonyms
 and
roads
Use synonyms
 because it will help to reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion and accidents, making journeys safer and faster.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will help in economic growth,
goods
Correct word choice
and goods
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 to be transported efficiently between cities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and regions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, improving
roads
Use synonyms
 and
highways
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in reducing
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and accidents.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, investing in public
transportation
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 beneficial for society because it carries large numbers of passengers, so
few
Replace the word
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will use private vehicles
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 to reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
,air
, and
Check wording
pollution, and
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 noise pollution, even though bus,
subways
Fix the agreement mistake
subway
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, and
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
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 fares are cheaper than fuel. So, students, elderly
people
Use synonyms
, and low-income workers can easily pay.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will maintain social equality and environmental sustainability. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
invent
Verb problem
investing
show examples
 in improving
roads
Use synonyms
 and
highways
Use synonyms
 helps to raise economic growth,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely agree that spending more
money
Use synonyms
 to improve public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is beneficial because it offers
long-term
Correct article usage
a long-term
show examples
 solution to control
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and environmental problems, especially in crowded cities.

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task response
State your view in the intro and restate it in the end to show a clear stance.
coherence and cohesion
Plan two clear parts: one on roads, one on public transport, with a simple bridge between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like also, but, however, and for example to show relation between ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and word form, e.g. spend vs spent, on after spend, and article use.
lexical resource
Choose precise, easy words and avoid long phrases to keep meaning clear.
structure
The essay has a clear focus on two sides.
content
Both views are shown and a final opinion is given.
task response
Conclusion states the writer's view.
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