IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industries and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this ?

In numerous countries, there is an issue with the declining
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 index of
air
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 and
water
Use synonyms
Linking Words
due
Check wording
quality due
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 to industrialisation and construction.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to analyse the severe issues and their solution in the following paragraphs. Emerging nations focus on their growth with industrialisation and constructing buildings
from
Change preposition
over
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 the
last
Linking Words
 few decades. A lot of problems arise , one of them is the bad
quality
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 of
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air
Correct article usage
the air
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 and polluted
water
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. Some individuals face the critical health issue
they
Correct word choice
that they
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 are going to be asthmatic, they are drinking polluted
Use synonyms
water
Punctuation problem
water,
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its
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 affects their kidneys and liver. In the developing world, governments gave permission to set up their manufacturing plans inside the
cities
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 where they
Verb problem
can get
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get labour easily
Correct word order
easily get labour
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.
Due to
Linking Words
 wine, whiskey, vodka manufacturing companies
needs
Verb problem
do
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no
Rephrase
not
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to
Verb problem
need to
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 use
water
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they drain their contaminated
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
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 rivers and same
thing
Punctuation problem
, thing
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 done by dying industry
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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drain
Correct subject-verb agreement
drains
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their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 tainted
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
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 rivers. They construct a number of high-rise buildings and a huge number of houses in the big
cities
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 so that they attract
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of
people
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 from ruler areas
come
Correct pronoun usage
who come
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 to the
cities
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 for good earnings , that why
cities
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 are overpopulated. Several
people
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 buy cars to commute, rather than use public transport. Government departments need to focus on big industries because they are not following the parameters, rules, and regulations that are set by
Correct article usage
the governments
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governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
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. They need to take strict actions, like fines, cancel their licences, so that they can get the clear message from government authorities that if those business firms do not follow the safety parameters, they will not run their businesses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, civilians need to get the finest
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in these days, in Delhi which is the capital of India, having major issue of worst
air
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quality
Use synonyms
,
people
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 protest when their is the football match and the one the greatest player of all time Lionel Messi when over their to attend and some government official are present in stadium at
people
Use synonyms
 start the protect of bad
air
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quality
Use synonyms
 index (AQI), and the same time
this
Linking Words
 problem is highilited
further
Linking Words
 more become global news.
To conclude
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this
Linking Words
,
emergent
Replace the word
emerging
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 nations
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 development, at the same time, they
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to take
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
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givegives
Correct your spelling
and give
 proper action against those businesses that are not following the rules and regulations.

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task response
Task response: The answer must clearly address 'what measures could be taken'. Plan 3-4 clear actions and explain how they help. Avoid stray topics. Use simple, fixed ideas with clear links.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use a clear plan with introduction, 2-3 body paragraphs and a conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Link sentences with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'because'.
content
The topic is relevant and you touch on real problems in cities.
content
You mention concrete examples like Delhi and public protests to show the issue.
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