IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, numerous business firms are focusing on a new strategy of advertising to highlight their products in the
market
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.
Some
Correct determiner usage
A
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 new
way
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 to promote the product in a competitive
market
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 is
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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necessary to stand out in the long term.
Hence
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,
in
Change preposition
from
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 my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 the pros are more than
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
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. To consider the reasons for the importance of advertising in a new
way
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, first and foremost, businesses have a main motto of earning profit with the help of bringing awareness, traffic
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as sales of the product.
In addition
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 to
this
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, using old strategies for marketing does not always provide a productive result for the firm.
Thus
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, creative and innovative ideas for advertising are mandatory for
high-quality
Correct article usage
a high-quality
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 reputation
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as “new” or need to mention what kind of changes are made in
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 as compared to
old
Correct article usage
the old
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.
Moreover
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, another reason is about the
brand
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 image
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is developed in the human’s mind with the help of advertising in a unique
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way
Punctuation problem
way,
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 because the only
way
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 to represent
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 is in front of their competitive
brand
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.
For instance
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, the big giants like Apple and Samsung are publishing their ads by comparing their past models with newly launched models by
figuring
Verb problem
highlighting
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 the
chances
Use the right word
changes
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they
made
Verb problem
have made
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 recently. Considering the optimistic view, new techniques for promoting the good or service are quite effective by spreading the awareness campaign in a different manner from
competitors
Punctuation problem
competitors,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can capture the attention of the consumers by elaborating the differences between the new model and its old one . Ergo,
this
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 will lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
Change preposition
in the
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 purchasing power of the customer
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 the firm will earn profit.
Furthermore
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, creativity and innovative ideas are used in promoting
products
Correct article usage
the products
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 of the company
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can only be a leader in the open
market
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 will directly build a positive
brand
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 perception
as well as
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 create a lasting impression on the consumer's mind. In conclusion, I believe that every business ought to adopt innovative strategies for publishing their products into an oversaturated
market
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. New ways of strategies for marketing can develop a chance to meet targets
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along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with creating a strong
brand
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 image in the consumer's mind.

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structure
Plan your answer with a start, a middle, and an end. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
content
Talk about both sides. The prompt asks if it is good or bad. If you say yes, add a small note on the possible drawbacks.
language
Use plain and short words. Link ideas with also, but, and, then to keep flow.
content
Add a real example and show how it links to your point so the reader sees the link.
language
Check grammar and form. Fix errors that hide your meaning.
strength
The view stands clear and the aim is easy to see.
strength
Using a brand example (Apple, Samsung) helps to show your idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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