IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that rapid urbanisation and population growth have led to more people living in homes with little or no outdoor
space
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.
While
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this
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 trend may offer certain conveniences, I believe that it represents a negative development
due to
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 its impact on
health
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 and
overall
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 quality of life. One of the most obvious reasons is that a lack of outdoor
space
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 can negatively affect both physical and mental
health
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. To illustrate, access to gardens, yards, or green
areas
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 encourages physical activity and provides opportunities for relaxation.
For instance
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, people who have outdoor
space
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 are more likely to exercise regularly, enjoy fresh air, and reduce stress levels.
In contrast
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, those living in small apartments without outdoor access may adopt sedentary lifestyles, increasing the risk of
health
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 problems
such
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 as obesity, anxiety, and depression.
This
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 issue is particularly concerning for children, who require
space
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 to play and develop physically. Another point that should not be overlooked is the effect on social interaction and environmental well-being. To clarify, outdoor
spaces
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 often serve as
areas
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 where families and neighbours can gather, strengthening community bonds.
For example
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, shared gardens or nearby green
spaces
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 allow residents to interact more frequently and build a sense of belonging.
Moreover
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, the absence of green
areas
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 contributes to environmental issues
such
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 as urban heat islands and poor air quality. Cities with limited outdoor
spaces
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 often experience higher temperatures and pollution levels, which
further
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 reduce residents’ comfort and well-being. To recapitulate, it is evident that living in homes without outdoor
space
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 can harm physical
health
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, mental well-being, and social cohesion,
while
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also
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 worsening environmental conditions in cities.
Therefore
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, I believe
this
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 trend is a negative development. Governments and urban planners should prioritise the creation of green
spaces
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 and encourage housing designs that include access to outdoor
areas
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 in order to improve the quality of urban life.

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task response
Make the lead sentence in the intro brisk and show your view clearly.
coherence
Link ideas with clearer transitions so the write flows well from one idea to the next.
content
Give more exact examples or facts to back your points.
language
Check small grammar issues and keep sentences to the point for easy read.
structure
End with a strong line that restates your view.
task response
Clear view is stated and kept to the end.
content
Good use of health, social life and the environment as topics.
coherence
The text uses transitions well to move ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • social interaction
  • community bonding
  • mental well-being
  • urban biodiversity
  • urban heat island effect
  • energy-efficient
  • affordable housing
  • cramped living conditions
  • innovative architecture
  • interior design
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • quality of life
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