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Band 4.5

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

The tables compare how New York Metro’s
overall
Linking Words
population
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 and the proportion of residents living in Manhattan versus the other
four
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districts
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 evolved from 1800 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that inhabitants in New York experienced a substantial increase throughout the two centuries,
although
Linking Words
 growth was unevenly distributed across the
districts
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.
While
Linking Words
 Manhattan dominated the early years,
population
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 expansion shifted towards
other
Correct article usage
the other
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four
Use synonyms
districts
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period. Looking at the first table closely, New York inhabited around 79 thousand people in the first period,
then
Linking Words
 considerable growth made the total residents recorded at 3.4 million in the upcoming century, after which grew threefold by the end. Manhattan was the most crowded district
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 contributed three out of
four
Use synonyms
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
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 city’s
population
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
, but
then
Linking Words
 it continued to drop by a margin of 50% in 2000, making it the least populous district.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, forming merely a quarter of the total distribution in 1800,
four
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 other
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districts
Punctuation problem
districts,
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consist of
Verb problem
namely
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Brookly
Correct your spelling
Brooklyn
, Bronx, Queens, and Staten
Island
Punctuation problem
Island,
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 underwent a remarkable
population
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 rise throughout the two centuries. In 1900, their group of humans
comprised
Verb problem
apply
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double
Replace the word
doubled
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 from their original level,
then
Linking Words
 a major expansion of 35% occurred between 1999 and 2000,
switching
Verb problem
making
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 them
as
Change preposition
apply
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the
dense
Use the right word
densest
show examples
districts
Use synonyms
 with 81% of New York’s people living there in 2000.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, four, districts with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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