IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of the high school curriculm (for example, working for a charity, improving the neigborhood, or teaching sports to younger children) to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Making unpaid voluntary work a compulsory part of a high
school
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 curriculum is believed to benefit
students
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 in many ways.
While
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 some people say including unpaid community
service
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 in the
school
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 curriculum may help to improve
students
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' practical life skills, others argue that it is a waste of time. I disagree with
this
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 idea;
instead
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 of focusing on unpaid services,
students
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 should only focus on their main
subjects
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. The reason
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 why many people argue against it is that there are a lot of necessary
subjects
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 to learn. More attention should be given to main tasks like math, biology, chemistry, and learning a new language, as these tasks help to build their careers because each job requires certain
subjects
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.
For example
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, a doctor's job requires only two
subjects
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: biology and chemistry, because learning these
tasks
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subjects
show examples
 helps them to know where human organisms are located and how to tackle their health problems. Regarding unpaid community
service
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, life teaches young learners naturally, so it should not be an obligatory part of schools. Voluntary
service
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 should not be a compulsory part of a high
school
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 curriculum.
This
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 is a
service
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 which can help to enforce interpersonal skills and help
students
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 to be active citizens in the community. By doing these services,
for example
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, working for a charity, improving the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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, and teaching sports to young
students
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, these efforts will not go unnoticed. If
students
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 follow these activities, they not only prepare young people for adulthood but
also
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 help with self-development.
Therefore
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,
this
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service
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 should be included in the high
school
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 program. In conclusion,
although
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 unpaid voluntary work improves practical life skills, adolescents should focus on their major
subjects
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 to gain career opportunities.

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Task Response
Be clear on your view at the start and keep it through the essay. Do not switch from 'disagree' to 'agree' about making voluntary work compulsory.
Task Response
Make one main reason first, then give a small example. Do not add too many ideas in one paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Plan your work in simple form: intro, two body parts, and a short conclusion. Each paragraph has one idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use plain linking words to show flow: first, next, also, but, so, in short. Keep the order of ideas clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Check spelling and grammar. Use common words and short sentences so your meaning is clear.
Lexical Resource
Use one or two clear examples that fit your point. They should support your view.
Strength
The essay states a view clearly in parts.
Strength
There are real examples about key subjects like biology and chemistry.
Strength
Some linking words help the flow of ideas.
Strength
The essay shows some balance by talking about both sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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