IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people are affected by social media and internet. Is it a good or bad trend in your opinion? Explain it by giving your own example.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contemporary society, social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 are a part of our daily
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. There are more
experists
Correct your spelling
experts
 to investigate the impact
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, I consider social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good trend for us.
In addition
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 connect all of us everywhere and
everytime
Use the right word
every time
show examples
. It is a significant good impact for us
Verb problem
to understead
show examples
understead
Correct your spelling
understand
 what matters happen in the whole world. We can ignore the time and space limitations to upload
verious
Correct your spelling
various
information
Use synonyms
 about different countries or our friends who are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas immediately. It reduces some mistakes from
information
Use synonyms
 unable to
transformation
Wrong verb form
be transformed
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
undate
Correct your spelling
update
 the
lastest
Use the right word
latest
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
COVID-19, it helps citizens of all countries possessing
sifficient
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 time to
defect
Use the right word
detect
show examples
 the disease.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 platform for
people
Use synonyms
sharing
Wrong verb form
to share
show examples
 their ideas or goods. The rise of social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 more chances for
people
Use synonyms
 to sell their ideas. It increases the employment rate.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 create
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 online shop to sell their clothes and
home-made
Use the right word
homemade
show examples
 cakes.
Comparision
Use the right word
Comparison
show examples
 of before is no
internet
Use synonyms
that
Check wording
,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
making
show examples
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to spread their bands.
Then
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 are
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 trend in my opinion. Meanwhile, others argue that the rise of social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
addiction
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
. From my perspective,
addiction
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not only in social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as drug
addiction
Use synonyms
 and sexual
addiction
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a person whether addicted
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
relates to their own self-control. Social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 are the best tools for us to explore and develop our future
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 we need to
utiliz
Correct your spelling
utilise
properly
Correct pronoun usage
them properly
show examples
. In conclusion, social
media
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 provide a good trend for human lives
due to
Linking Words
 increasing the speed of
information
Use synonyms
 transformation and providing
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 area for us
sharing
Wrong verb form
to share
show examples
 and
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
 our own
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

organization
Plan your essay in a simple plan. Say your view at once. Then give one clear example from your life or talk. Finish with a short line.
coherence
Use simple words to link ideas. Words like and, but, also, then help the flow. Keep one idea in each sentence.
grammar/vocabulary
Check what you want to say and fix mistakes in grammar. Make ideas easy to see and use the example to show your point.
lexical
Use words you know well. Do not use hard words. Short, clear sentence make the meaning easy to read.
content
The essay shows a clear view that the topic can be seen as good.
examples
There are examples given, such as Covid news and online stores.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: