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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show favourite social media channels from 2011 to 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The pie charts illustrate popular five social media applications,
Facebook
Use synonyms
,
Twitter
Use synonyms
, LinkedIn, Google+, and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2013 .
Overall
Linking Words
 it is clear from chart that
Facebook
Use synonyms
 was the most favorite social media channel during the three years, followed by
Twitter
Use synonyms
. Wheareas
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 has the lowest number of subscribers among all applications. In terms of
Facebook
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 application recorded more than half of
users
Use synonyms
 in 2011 BY 59%.
This
Linking Words
 percentage decreased to 49% and 38% in 2012 and 2013 respectively. Despite of that
Facebook
Use synonyms
 has a higher
users
Use synonyms
, It’s continued decreasing throughout the given period.
Also
Linking Words
, 21% of applications'
users
Use synonyms
 tend to used
Twitter
Use synonyms
 in 2011. The charts
also
Linking Words
 showed that
Twitter
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 increased in next year 23%,
then
Linking Words
 raised to 25% in 2013. The figures showed raising in popularity off using LinkedIn 10% 12% 15% in 2011 2012 and 2013 respectively .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Google+ and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 have the lowest share of the total number of
users
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 5% is the percentage of
users
Use synonyms
 for both in 2011. In 2012 ,
users
Use synonyms
 of Google + doubled to 10%.
While
Linking Words
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 popularity raised to 6%.
Finally
Linking Words
 14% and 8% was the percentage of
users
Use synonyms
 for Google + and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 in 2013 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words facebook, twitter, pinterest, users with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • trend
  • popularity
  • social media channel
  • data
  • overview
  • rise
  • decline
  • shift
  • platform
  • distribution
  • user preference
  • notable
  • significant change
  • comparison
  • highlight
  • survey
  • analysis
  • demographics
  • year-on-year change
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