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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show favourite social media channels from 2011 to 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts illustrate popular five social media applications,
Facebook
Use synonyms
,
Twitter
Use synonyms
, LinkedIn, Google+, and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2013 .
Overall
Linking Words
 it is clear from chart that
Facebook
Use synonyms
 was the most favorite social media channel during the three years, followed by
Twitter
Use synonyms
. Wheareas
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 has the lowest number of subscribers among all applications. In terms of
Facebook
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 application recorded more than half of
users
Use synonyms
 in 2011 BY 59%.
This
Linking Words
 percentage decreased to 49% and 38% in 2012 and 2013 respectively. Despite of that
Facebook
Use synonyms
 has a higher
users
Use synonyms
, It’s continued decreasing throughout the given period.
Also
Linking Words
, 21% of applications'
users
Use synonyms
 tend to used
Twitter
Use synonyms
 in 2011. The charts
also
Linking Words
 showed that
Twitter
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 increased in next year 23%,
then
Linking Words
 raised to 25% in 2013. The figures showed raising in popularity off using LinkedIn 10% 12% 15% in 2011 2012 and 2013 respectively .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Google+ and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 have the lowest share of the total number of
users
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 5% is the percentage of
users
Use synonyms
 for both in 2011. In 2012 ,
users
Use synonyms
 of Google + doubled to 10%.
While
Linking Words
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 popularity raised to 6%.
Finally
Linking Words
 14% and 8% was the percentage of
users
Use synonyms
 for Google + and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 in 2013 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words facebook, twitter, pinterest, users with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • trend
  • popularity
  • social media channel
  • data
  • overview
  • rise
  • decline
  • shift
  • platform
  • distribution
  • user preference
  • notable
  • significant change
  • comparison
  • highlight
  • survey
  • analysis
  • demographics
  • year-on-year change
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