Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is the most important thing. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both the view and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

While
Linking Words
many people believe that focusing on building a brilliant career is the most significant thing. Others advocate that spending
time
Use synonyms
communicating with family and friends is more important. With consideration that both perspectives have logical arguments.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and
then
Linking Words
present my own perspective. On the one hand, there is no doubt that developing a shining career is one of the most important goals of anyone's life. Often, individuals choose to focus on their profession to gain money and create economic stability for their family.
Also
Linking Words
, people are usually seeking promotion, requiring them to make more efforts and spend more
time
Use synonyms
at work.
For example
Linking Words
, a study showed that 68% of employees spent more
time
Use synonyms
at work to gain extra money and climb the ladder to higher positions. 79
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents show that the family bond is the most significant in a human's life. Humans a social beings, spending
time
Use synonyms
to preserve connections with relatives and friends is vital.
Additionally
Linking Words
, keeping good relationships is necessary for mental health.
For instance
Linking Words
, a scientific article conducted a survey on two million youth workers showed that 80% of successful workers rank their family at the top three of their priorities, meaning keeping close to family does not conflict with being successful.
To conclude
Linking Words
, developing a career and spending
time
Use synonyms
with family both play a crucial role in people's lives. Saying
this
Linking Words
, from my view, I tend to believe that balancing between profession and family is the key to living a wonderful life.
This
Linking Words
approach strikes a balance between mental needs and sociality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix errors in grammar and fix broken phrases. Some sentences are not clear or finish on their own.
structure
Make a clear plan in the essay. Use one idea in each paragraph and link each part with simple words.
vocabulary
Use only simple, short words. Avoid long or hard words.
data
If you use numbers to show facts, make them clear and show that they come from a study, or just keep them out.
content
Give real life and clear examples that support your point and show how they prove your view.
task response
The essay tries to cover both sides and give a view.
coherence
It uses 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show two sides.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • family
  • friends
  • time
  • work
  • life
  • job
  • money
  • happy
  • sad
  • plan
  • balance
  • choice
  • view
  • opinion
  • reason
  • example
  • learn
  • growth
  • skill
  • success
  • goal
  • support
  • stress
  • health
  • together
  • relax
  • enjoy
  • limit
  • schedule
  • boundary
  • future
  • care
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: